They say the more we resist something, the more it persists! I believe this is true. When we choose to complain or blame a situation, place, person or thing, we are not truly accepting it for what it is. We are in effect allowing this “thing” outside ourselves to control how we feel.
Acceptance for me is being in a state of allowing and not resisting where I am now. At times in my life, this has been easier said than done. When things didn’t go the way that I would have liked them to go or the way I believed they should have, I would sometimes have the tendency to not accept the situation.
Many times it is our own belief or judgement about the situation or the person in that moment, which prevents us from accepting it. We may have beliefs such as “It shouldn’t be this way” “This is bad” or “This shouldn’t be happening to me now”. In my life when I was in a place that I didn’t want to be, I discovered that it was my beliefs about being in that place that were creating the disease and disharmony within me. For example at the moment I am looking for work, however at times I find it hard to accept that this is my reality. I can see that it is my beliefs around not having a job that are causing me not to accept the situation, rather than the act of looking for work itself .
When we choose not to accept a certain person for the way they are or a particular situation for what it is, we are essentially not allowing the space for change to happen. We are allowing it to control us, control how we feel and what we think. When we don’t accept something that happens to us, and we choose to be in a place of denying or resisting it, it becomes much harder for us to move on from it and create a change. When we choose to be in an unaccepting state of mind, we can waste our lives away in a place of self-pity, blaming and complaining and in effect never really moving on and taking complete responsibility for our lives.
There is an amazing power in accepting what is. I found when I was on the Camino de Santiago, I experienced a lot of acceptance of; who I am, the people who I met and the journey that I needed to take. From this state of acceptance I experienced peace within myself, a letting go and an acceptance that I am where I am. Accepting that I am doing the best I could in the situation. In accepting ourselves and our situation, no matter how bad it is, we can receive tremendous power and strength to move on and take proactive steps to change it, if we so choose.
When we choose to completely accept something, it does not mean we should settle for whatever happens to us. It is beneficial to be aware of the difference between settling for something and accepting one’s reality. In the first instance we allow things to simply happen to us, while in the latter we are taking responsibility for our actions and making the conscious decision to move on, make a change or simply be happy with what we have.
We can invite feeling acceptance into our lives by;
* Becoming aware of when we are complaining and blaming people, things or situations.
* Becoming aware of our beliefs which can be preventing us from accepting the situation.
* Asking ourselves how it is serving us not to have acceptance in our current situation?
* Focusing on and being grateful for all the many blessings we have in our lives.
* Practicing letting go in the moment and saying whatever will be, will be.
As always I welcome any feedback or words of wisdom you may have.