Many of us, myself included are guilty of not really listening to other people properly and fully. At times when we are having a conversation with a colleague or a friend, it may appear that we are listening however often we are forming our own opinions or judgements about what the other person is saying.
When we don’t fully listen to the person we are with, it can stop or prevent us from communicating at an authentic and meaningful level. It can blocks us from really listening or hearing what the person is saying. At times a difference of opinion or an argument can happen, as a result of one person believing one thing and the other person believing the other thing.
A lot of times we don’t fully listen to the person we are with because of the noise going on in our own heads. Our minds can be very busy from life. We can be distracted by the things that we need to do that day, that week etc, which can prevent us from being fully present with the person we are suppose to be listening to. We can also have beliefs about what the person is saying and in turn project these on to what the person is saying. For example if we are having a conversation with a friend and they are worried or troubled by something in their lives, we may have the tendency to jump in and say that you should do this and you should do that. However a more empowering way could be to really listen to your friend and ask them questions so that they can come up with their own answers. I believe that we are our own best experts on ourselves.
So what does it mean to really listen? Really listening means we are fully present with the other person and that we choose to let go of any judgements we may have of what the person is saying. It means to come from a place of love and compassion in regards to what the person is saying or being, rather than from a place of judgement.
Here are a few guidelines in regards to becoming a better listener;
* Be fully present when the person is speaking.
* Check in to see if what we are saying is coming from our heads or our hearts?
* Ask questions rather give advice so that the person can come up with their own solution.
* Come from a place of love and compassion rather than from a place of judgement when listening to the person.
* Choose to let go of any expectations you may have in regards to the conversation your are having.
As always I could love to hear any feedback, suggestions or words of wisdom you may have in regards to what I have wrote.