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It seems easy to say yes to what we want and no to what we don’t
want but how many of us actually do it in our lives? I see in my
life that at times I have been conditioned to say yes when I mean no and to say no when I mean yes.

We could be in a relationship that we don’t like, or a job that we
hate or living in an environment that doesn’t serve us. We can get caught up
in the cycle of focusing on what we don’t want and not consciously and
positively focusing and moving towards what we do want. We can get
trapped in this place and our lives can pass us by.

You usually know if what is happening in your life is what you want by
the way you feel. You feel good and positive in yourself. You have a
feeling of joy and aliveness within yourself in that you know that
this is something that you really want. When you don’t want something,
the opposite is true and you feel lack of enthusiasm, lack of
excitement and low energy.

Often times we don’t say yes to what we want because of our fear of
being disapproved by the people or society around us. We seem to have
linked the need for approval, acceptance and praise of other people of
being of higher importance than us actually saying yes to what we want. I
know of a guy who pursued a medical profession which he hated so that
he could gain the approval and acceptance from those around him,
especially his parents. He still chooses to continue in this
profession even though his heart isn’t in it. Our own feelings that we
don’t deserve and that we are not good enough to go for what we want
can also play a strong role in preventing us from going for what we

Probably one of the more challenging areas I have found to say yes to
what I want and to be true to myself is in the area of personal
relationships, especially romantic ones. At times when we get involved
with somebody in a romantic way, games such as trying to please the
other person and seeking their approval can get in the way of us
having an authentic and loving connection with that person. They can
also get in the way of us saying yes to what we want in the
relationship and in life in general.

When we choose to say Yes to what we want and No to what we
don’t want, we will;

* Start loving and accepting ourselves more.

* Be happier and more peaceful in ourselves.

* Be more authentic and excited by life because we are doing what we want.

* Have higher self-esteem and confidence in ourselves.

* Have fun in life.

* Be living our lives based on our own approval, acceptance and praise.

Here are a few questions to invite you to say YES to what you do want
and say NO to what you don’t want…

* Check in and ask yourself does this feel true for me? Is this what
I really want?

* Am I saying yes or no to gain approval, acceptance and praise with
this person or these people?

* How is it serving me to say no when I mean yes and yes when I mean no?

* If I truly loved myself, would I say No or Yes to this situation or person?

* What could happen in my life if I started to say yes and no when I
meant it?

As always I welcome any feedback, comments or words of wisdom you may have…