We all want to have great relationships especially with that special person however often times we seem to be unable to create this in our lives. In the world that we live in, we usually learn how to have relationships from those people around us usually from our parents who often times may not be exactly the perfect role models for a healthy and loving relationship.
In every relationship, there are 3 relationships happening. There is the relationship you have with yourself, the relationship your partner has with themselves and the relationship you have together. If any of these relationships is not healthy and loving, it usually effects the other relationships.
In any relationship, the following ingredients are essential in creating, maintaining and growing a healthy and loving relationship;
1. Trust
Trust always begins with yourself. You can only ever trust somebody as much as you trust yourself. If you don’t trust yourself, it is very hard to trust another.
It is usually our fear rooted beliefs which prevents us from trusting the other person completely. These can be fears of rejection, fears of disapproval, fears of being alone or fears of not being loved by the other person. The less you love yourself, the less you have the ability to trust yourself and the person you love.
Trust essentially starts with yourself. You can start to trust yourself by loving yourself more. You can start to do this by listening to your feelings and trusting the voice within yourself and take action if you feel inspired to do it. When you trust yourself, you start to have more belief and faith in yourself. You let go of the doubts and the beliefs which stop you from trusting yourself and trusting others.
2. Authenticity
When we choose to be fully authentic in a relationship, we choose to be fully ourselves – the good and the bad! At times this can be easier said than done. To be authentic means to stop the people pleasing and approval seeking behaviour that we can have a tendency to engage with when we are in a relationship with somebody. Being authentic means to be true to who you are and to just be yourself. In my experience the more I have choosen to be authentic in a relationship, the more the person I am with has felt free to be authentic.
It is normally our fear that the other person will reject us or may not approve of or love us, which prevents us from being fully authentic in a relationship. At times we may not feel safe to be authentic because of the other person’s judgements or their expectations for us to be a certain way.
You can be authentic by connecting with how you are truly feeling and what you truly want. Then when you are connected with this, you can start communicating this to your partner. Maybe there is something that you don’t like in regards to what your partner is doing or saying. A good first step would be to communicate this to them.
3. Communication
Communication is essential in any relationship especially in relationship with your significant other. They say that we only communicate 7% by the words that we speak and the rest is by our body language and the tone of our voices. I think this is very true. It is so important to be clear and specific in our communication with our loved one otherwise they may interpret what we are saying as to meaning something completely different.
Lack of effective communication is usually caused by the beliefs or opinions we have of what is being communicated to us. We may assume a certain thing by what a person is saying and this may not be the truth of what they are saying. For example if your partner does not want to meet you it could be for a variety of reasons and may not be the beliefs you have in your head. If there are times that we are not present when something is being communicated to us, it is easy not to fully listen to what the other person is saying. If we are emotional, it can also cloud our interpretation of what the person is saying.
In communicating effectively, it is very important to be clear and specific in regards to what you are communicating. Try to let go of any judgements or assumptions you may have in regards to what the person is saying. When you are listening to what is being communicated, it is good practice to be as present and open to the person as possible.
4. Self-care
At times when we are in a relationship we can forget about caring for ourselves. We can focus on the other person and forget about our own needs and wants. Choosing to care for ourselves can mean different things for different people. Essentially it means loving ourselves. It means taking time out for yourself, treating yourself to something nice, knowing your boundaries in a relationship or learning to say no and yes when it feels right.
If you don’t choose to care for yourself in a relationship it can lead to an imbalance. Lots of times the relationship can become a co-dependent relationship because you can have an expectation or need from the other person to care for you and your happiness can become dependent on them. This dynamic can often lead to fights or disagreements.
You can start caring for yourself in a relationship by knowing your boundaries and limitations, by communicating in an authentic way in regards your wants and needs and ultimately taking responsibility for your happiness.
5. Appreciation
Often times we can find it easier to criticize and find fault with the person we are in a relationship with rather than give them praise and show them appreciation. When we focus on the good behaviour of a person, we unconscious reinforce this behaviour. The opposite is true as well in that when we focus on the bad behaviour or the so called bad things that a person does, we reinforce this behaviour, because we are giving attention to it.
You can learn to appreciate the person you are with by saying thanks for the simple little things that they do for you on a daily basis. You could also do this by buying something unexpected for them to show that you appreciate them. You could also make a list of all the great qualities/characteristics that your partner has and tell them about them. They can also do this for you too 🙂
As always I would love to hear any feedback, comments or words of wisdom you may have.
Namaste.
TW
privestarlady said:
Beautifully written..I totally agree with these five steps u mentioned because these are the basic crucial steps towards a healthy lifestyle but sadly some people can’t agree just cuz they have too much Ego to accept the reality and truth which ends in hurting the other person a lot.
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The Truth Warrior said:
Thanks so much for sharing!! Its so true what you just said… Namaste. TW
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Morgan said:
All Very true and so Important 🙂 GREAT post !
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The Truth Warrior said:
Thanks 🙂 Namaste. TW
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helpwithyourlife said:
I couldn’t agree more! Lovely post! 🙂
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The Truth Warrior said:
Thanks so much 🙂 Namaste. TW
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sdschwarz said:
This is perfect! I need to read it about 100 times
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The Truth Warrior said:
🙂 Namaste. TW
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paulaosullivan said:
Brilliant post as usual. I too have found that in loving myself first that I could learn to trust others because I could trust myself, I also learned to really love others without judgement too, because by loving myself, I wasn’t judging myself anymore either. I think in order to have a good relationship with others we must first have that good relationship with ourselves. Thanks again for your great posts 🙂
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The Truth Warrior said:
You are very welcome. What you said is very true. Thanks so much for sharing. Namaste. TW
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thewanderingempath said:
Excellent! I completely agree. Thank you for the post.
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The Truth Warrior said:
Thanks for sharing!! Namaste. TW
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Noel said:
Interesting post. Communication is one part of my marriage which is lacking . My wife is not the talking type and she often feels angry but does not tell me why. She is currently giving me the silent treament. I am currently reading the book Love Dare in hopes that is will help us heal.
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The Truth Warrior said:
Hi Noel. Thanks for sharing. I wish you the best in improving your communication with your wife. I have found in my experience that even when we are not communicating verbally we are communicating… Namaste. TW
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made58 said:
Reblogged this on HelpingOthersHelpThemselves.
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The Truth Warrior said:
Thanks for the reblog 🙂 Namaste. TW
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made58 said:
Thank you! Have a great week!
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The Truth Warrior said:
Same to you 🙂 TW
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made58 said:
🙂 thank you!
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thehappywappyblog said:
Hey, I have nominated u for the very inspiring blogger award. The set of rules are mentioned here.
Keep inspiring people. 🙂
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The Truth Warrior said:
Thanks so much for your kind award nomination. I really appreciate it. Namaste. TW
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the dune mouse (CybeleMoon) said:
Perfectly expressed!! Communication is key in relationships!!
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The Truth Warrior said:
Thanks so much 🙂 Namaste. TW
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gweneegrace said:
Reblogged this on Not Sweating The Small Stuff and commented:
While there is no hard rule for relationships, a simple guide or reminder won’t hurt… 😊
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The Truth Warrior said:
Thanks for the reblog 🙂 Namaste. TW
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svmcelligott said:
Great article. What does one do to protect oneself from Jealous siblings? When you are under constant attack through covert means like a derogatory remark, a smirk, a cold shoulder, being ostracized.
When I question myself if it’s really true, other family members tell me I’m not imagining it as they too have witnessed their behavior and think it is disgraceful. I don’t consider myself a victim so I choose not to be around them ( 2 younger sisters) but it saddens me to have to do this for my own protection.
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The Truth Warrior said:
It has been my experience that we don’t have control over another person’s however we can choose to be assertive if the behaviour is effecting us in some way. Namaste. TW
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Kelsey said:
Thank you for the follow! I’m really looking forward to reading through your posts =)
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The Truth Warrior said:
Thank you 🙂 Same here. Namaste. TW
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anayaolmedo said:
I greatly enjoyed reading 5 Essential Ingredients For A Great Relationship. However, Intimacy plays a fundamental part in a relationship.
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The Truth Warrior said:
I completely agree with you. This is so true. Thanks for sharing. Namaste. TW
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quirkybooks said:
What happens if you try internet dating and you can’t see them in reality? I know things like Skype can help, but a lot of the time, it’s words that you will judge a person on.
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The Truth Warrior said:
A lot of times it is hard to judge a person objectively when we are only using words to communicate. The best way I have found to communicate and to connect is face to face….Namaste. TW
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quirkybooks said:
What do you think of Skype then?
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The Truth Warrior said:
I think Skype is very good but it has been my experience that it is still not the same as meeting a person face to face. Namaste. TW
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quirkybooks said:
Yeah. I guess you can tell more about a person face to face, rather than a snap shot and to see their facial expressions and reactions. To see if the chemistry is right between you.
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ramakrishnan6002 said:
Reblogged this on Gr8fullsoul.
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The Truth Warrior said:
Thanks for the reblog. Namaste. TW
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AcoaltoaDiamond said:
Reblogged this on Diamond Fitness.
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The Truth Warrior said:
Thanks for the reblog!! Namaste. TW
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carefreeandlovinit said:
I love what you mentioned regarding “Authenticity. ” This is where I am at with my process…the key is to stop the people pleasing. It sounds so easy but challenging. This reminds me to write about my own experience about not worrying what other people will think. Thank you!
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The Truth Warrior said:
You are very welcome 🙂 Authenticity really is the key…. Namaste. TW
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