In the times that we live in, it can be hard to take the time to love ourselves with our busy schedules and our hectic lives. We can spend our lives trying to prove ourselves to those around us and end up never taking the time to really love ourselves. A lot of the media has conditioned us into believing that if we have these so called external things then we will be loved and feel loved.
It is usually our lack of trust and belief in ourselves which can prevent us from loving ourselves. Feelings such as I am not good enough and that I don’t deserve can be a part of the conditioning that we feel that it is wrong to love ourselves. When we judge or compare ourselves to other people in society, it can be a barrier to us loving ourselves. Many of us live with the need to receive external validation, approval and acceptance from other people and never really giving it to ourselves.
When we are not loving ourselves, we usually don’t feel happy with ourselves. We have a tendency to not trust and believe in ourselves and the unique talents and gifts we have to offer the world. We also can be looking for approval, validation, acceptance and praise from other people. Often times when we are not loving ourselves we tend to not feel a sense of joy, peace and contentment in our lives. We can also believe that somebody like our soul mate is going make us happy and complete our lives however we need to be able to create this for ourselves.
When we are loving ourselves, we usually love and accept ourselves. We find it easy to just be ourselves and not try to be anything that we are not. We find that we treat ourselves kindly, gently and with the respect and dignity that we deserve. When we are loving ourselves, we tend to listen to ourselves and trust the answer that comes. We find it easy to say Yes to what we want and No to what we don’t want. When we are in this place, we seem to be living our lives based on our own approval, acceptance and validation. We find it easy to trust and believe in who we are and have the courage and faith to go for what we want regardless of what other people’s opinions are.
There are many benefits in choosing to love yourself such as;
* Being able to have a feeling of happiness and a sense of joy within.
* Having a more relaxed and carefree life because you are not trying to be anybody that you are not.
* Feeling that you are good enough exactly as you are and you are living your life based on your own approval, acceptance, praise and validation.
* Having less likelihood of mental and physical diseases because you are doing more healthy and loving things for your mind, body and spirit.
* You are more authentic and loving in your relationships with others because you have no expectation for somebody outside yourself to make you happy or to show you love.
Here are a few ways that I have thought of in how we can start to learn to love ourselves more;
1. Listen to your heart and start saying yes to the answer that comes up from within. Start to live your life based on your own approval, acceptance and praise.
2. Be gentle and kind to yourself and believe and know that you are doing the best you can in your current situation.
3. Spend quality time with yourself everyday – even for 1 hour. Do something you enjoy doing which could be playing music, singing, painting, drumming, writing, yoga, etc.
4. Start valuing your gifts and abilities and believe that you have something meaningful to contribute.
5. Stop comparing your life, your circumstances and yourself with people around. You never know what another person’s journey is.
6. Ask yourself – what makes me happy? What do I really want from life?
7. Treat yourself to something nice on a regular basis. This could be a massage, meal, doing something you love, etc.
As always I would love to hear any feedback, words of wisdom, comments you may have.