1 Easy Way To Control Your Mind


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Do you ever feel that your mind is overloaded with all that you have to do, be and have?

Life as we know it, has evolved to a much faster pace than what we were use to over 50 years ago. With the advances of technology, the way we communicate, the speed of our vehicles, the time pressures of work deadlines and the many other commitments in our lives, it seems that we simply don’t have time to relax and enjoy the moment. In this 21st century, our lives are much busier now, than they ever were. At times I wonder if all these changes and advances are really moving us to where we ultimately want to be, which is to be more peaceful and happy.

We all have experienced how it feels to be stressed out and our mind is full of thoughts of what we need to do or what we should be doing. It can feel that our mind is like a time bomb just ready to explode. We seem to have more demands on us now more than ever, to reach levels of so called success in all areas of our lives however, with all these demands comes a price. At times, it is not unusual for us to feel like an overworked machine. The consequences of experiencing life this way, are usually a lack of clarity, focus and the ability to think rationally about our life.

When we are in a place of losing control of our minds, it can lead us down an unhealthy path of using and abusing substances such as alcohol, drugs, pharmaceutical drugs, etc. as a temporary way to tame and control our minds. These substances normally only provide a temporary fix and never deal with the root cause of our situation. Usually if this lost of control happens over an extended period of time, it can lead a person to a place of having a nervous breakdown and ultimately they can end up having a physical or mental illness.

When we have the ability and the skill to control our minds, we have the power to be peaceful, calm and relaxed no matter what situation we are in. We bring the power back to ourselves as individuals in that whatever the external situation maybe, we can choose to be calm and peaceful. When our minds are balanced, we experience greater clarity, focus, decisiveness and a higher level of rational and creative thinking. The direct result of being in control of our minds is that we experience greater levels of peace, mental and physical health and ultimately happiness.

So you may ask how can I control this monkey mind?

Well one way I have found very effective is the use of a breathing technique called pranayama. It is an ancient yogic breathing technique, whereby you alternate your breathing in and out through your nose. This technique when used on a daily basis will strengthen your mind with improved concentration and mind control, provide deep relaxation to your body and mind and will strengthen your nervous and respiratory system. It will also purify your mind and body.

The specific technique is called Anuloma Viloma which is known as alternative nostril breathing.


The steps are as follows;

  1. Close your eyes and relax. Sit in this position for a couple of minutes till you settle down.
  2. Close your right nostril with your right thumb
  3. Breath in from your left nostril for the count of 8. Hold your breath for a couple of seconds.
  4. Open right nostril and close left nostril with middle and ring finger.
  5. Breathe out from your right nostril for the count of 4.
  6. Breathe in from your right nostril for the count of 8 and close your right nostril.
  7. Open left nostril and breathe out for the count of 4.
  8. Repeat again, steps 1 through 7 for 9 rounds initially and gradually building it up to 9 rounds by 3 with a 30 second break in between each 9 rounds.
  9. It is recommended to do this practice 4 times a day, once first thing in the morning, last thing at night and two other times during the day.
  10. Also when doing this practice, hold the tip of your tongue to the roof of your mouth and this maintains the energy flow / chi in the body.

As always I would love to hear any feedback, suggestions or comments you may have.




5 Top Secrets To Happiness


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I think the majority of us in this world want to be happy, whether we know it or not. At times it can be easier said than done with all that life brings us and we can forget how to just be simply happy. They say the goal behind every goal is happiness. I would agree with that. When we choose to be happy, our life just flows and that happiness can have a positive affect on everybody that we meet. When we are not happy however, that affects everybody too.

I think Esther Hicks from her book “Ask and it is given” has a great quote about happiness;

“The greatest gift that you could ever give to another is your own happiness, for when you are in a state of joy, happiness, or appreciation, you are fully connected to the Stream of pure, positive Source Energy that is truly who you are. And when you are in that state of connection, anything or anyone that you are holding as your object of attention benefits from your attention.”

From my own experience, here are some ways I have found useful in helping me to achieve happiness in my life;

Stop Comparing

Many of us can compare ourselves, our lives, our possessions, our jobs, our money etc. to other people around us. We can compare ourselves to what is being portrayed on the media as the perfect life and feel that we are not good enough as a result. We may even compare where our lives are now to where we were.

When somebody has a so called better house, car, job it doesn’t mean that they are more happier. Some of the happiest people I have met are people who have very little. Happiness doesn’t come from the outer things as we are brainwashed to believe, it is an inside job.

When we compare ourselves to something or somebody outside ourselves, we are essentially not loving or accepting ourselves. We can never know what another person’s journey is. The first step is to start to love and accept yourself exactly as you are and where you are.

Be present

If we are living our lives in the past or in the future, it is practically impossible to be in the here and now, where all happiness exists. When we choose to be present, we allow ourselves to be happy. We all have things that we regret and that we would like to change about the past. There are certain things or ways that we would like our future life to be, however the only moment we ever have is now.

We can live our lives attached the story of our past however it is our choice if we really want to be happy now and choose to let go of the past. It’s important to plan for the future but still be present on what you are engaging with right now, knowing that it is moving you in the direction of where you want to be.

The key in my experience to being present is to become aware of when I am not present. Also engaging in activities that I enjoy has also helped me to become more present.

Let go of expectations

If we have expectations of people, jobs, places etc. to be a certain way for us to be happy then we are allowing our happiness to be dependent on something outside of ourselves. We are attached to something for our happiness.

I can see in my own life that at times I allowed my happiness to be determined by how successful I was in my job, if I had great relationship with somebody I love etc. Sometimes when I was not successful in these areas, I experienced unhappiness.

What I have found helpful was to go for what I want, do the best I can and let go of the expectation for the result to be a certain way. I am in India at the moment and before I came I decided to let go of any expectations of India to be a certain way. I have found this approach very useful in having a happier experience here.

Be true to yourself

A quote I heard a while ago is;

” To be yourself in a world that is trying night and day to make you like everybody else, is probably the greatest battle there is to fight”

At times it can be hard for us to be ourselves and we need great courage and strength to be true to ourselves.

In my experience when I wasn’t true to myself, I have found that I experienced unhappiness in myself. In my last job I felt that I wasn’t been true to myself and that I was compromising my happiness because of a wage check at the end of the week.

As I mentioned earlier I am currently in India. It has been a long time dream of mine to travel India and embrace the culture here. I really do feel that I am being true to myself while I am traveling India at the moment.

To be true to yourself, live life based on your own approval and acceptance. Learn to listen and trust your heart and just go for what you want. Ask yourself what makes my heart sing?

Be Grateful

When we are in the mode of blaming and complaining we are not in a place of gratitude. We are essentially focusing on the negative and usually creating more of that in our lives.

Having being in India for a little under a week, I see people who could have a real reason to complain. There is a significant amount people who are actually sleeping on the streets here, sometimes it can be whole families. Other times I have seen people who have no legs or arms and are homeless on the street here as well. India is teaching me that I have so much to be grateful for.

Being grateful for where we are right now is definately a key to happiness. We have so much to be grateful for such as our health, our job, our house, our family, our friends etc. Being grateful is not just about saying it but it is about really feeling and believing it.

Well as always I would love to hear any feedback, comments or words of
wisdom you may have…



7 Ways How To Start Loving Yourself


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In the times that we live in, it can be hard to take the time to love ourselves with our busy schedules and our hectic lives. We can spend our lives trying to prove ourselves to those around us and end up never taking the time to really love ourselves. A lot of the media has conditioned us into believing that if we have these so called external things then we will be loved and feel loved.

It is usually our lack of trust and belief in ourselves which can prevent us from loving ourselves. Feelings such as I am not good enough and that I don’t deserve can be a part of the conditioning that we feel that it is wrong to love ourselves. When we judge or compare ourselves to other people in society, it can be a barrier to us loving ourselves. Many of us live with the need to receive external validation, approval and acceptance from other people and never really giving it to ourselves.

When we are not loving ourselves, we usually don’t feel happy with ourselves. We have a tendency to not trust and believe in ourselves and the unique talents and gifts we have to offer the world. We also can be looking for approval, validation, acceptance and praise from other people. Often times when we are not loving ourselves we tend to not feel a sense of joy, peace and contentment in our lives. We can also believe that somebody like our soul mate is going make us happy and complete our lives however we need to be able to create this for ourselves.

When we are loving ourselves, we usually love and accept ourselves. We find it easy to just be ourselves and not try to be anything that we are not. We find that we treat ourselves kindly, gently and with the respect and dignity that we deserve. When we are loving ourselves, we tend to listen to ourselves and trust the answer that comes. We find it easy to say Yes to what we want and No to what we don’t want. When we are in this place, we seem to be living our lives based on our own approval, acceptance and validation. We find it easy to trust and believe in who we are and have the courage and faith to go for what we want regardless of what other people’s opinions are.

There are many benefits in choosing to love yourself such as;

* Being able to have a feeling of happiness and a sense of joy within.

* Having a more relaxed and carefree life because you are not trying to be anybody that you are not.

* Feeling that you are good enough exactly as you are and you are living your life based on your own approval, acceptance, praise and validation.

* Having less likelihood of mental and physical diseases because you are doing more healthy and loving things for your mind, body and spirit.

* You are more authentic and loving in your relationships with others because you have no expectation for somebody outside yourself to make you happy or to show you love.

Here are a few ways that I have thought of in how we can start to learn to love ourselves more;

1. Listen to your heart and start saying yes to the answer that comes up from within. Start to live your life based on your own approval, acceptance and praise.

2. Be gentle and kind to yourself and believe and know that you are doing the best you can in your current situation.

3. Spend quality time with yourself everyday – even for 1 hour. Do something you enjoy doing which could be playing music, singing, painting, drumming, writing, yoga, etc.

4. Start valuing your gifts and abilities and believe that you have something meaningful to contribute.

5. Stop comparing your life, your circumstances and yourself with people around. You never know what another person’s journey is.

6. Ask yourself – what makes me happy? What do I really want from life?

7. Treat yourself to something nice on a regular basis. This could be a massage, meal, doing something you love, etc.

As always I would love to hear any feedback, words of wisdom, comments you may have.



Are Your Thoughts Controlling Your Life?


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In every second of every minute, we all experience thousands of thoughts in our mind. These thoughts can be positive. They can be negative. They can be wanted or unwanted. They can serve us or they can dis serve us. They can make us happy or unhappy. Ultimately the thoughts we are thinking can create our reality.

Many of us are unaware or unconscious of these thoughts that we are experiencing on a daily basis. Usually we are so busy with our lives, that we don’t have time to think and reflect about what is really going on in this mind of ours. We are bombarded by television, the internet, magazines, newspapers, the radio etc. in what to think. Our educational system as a whole teaches people WHAT to think however it fails in the greatest necessity in teaching people in HOW to think. If we have the power, the ability and the skill to change our thoughts, we can have mastery over ourselves, our lives and ultimately our destiny.

I can see in my life how certain circumstances have changed when I choose to change my thoughts about the situation. Sometimes it wasn’t easy however when I choose to do so, it brought me to a more brighter, more positive and empowered place which served me and those around me. At times in this life we can be given a set of events or circumstances in which we may not like or which we may not have any control over. This could be losing our job, becoming sick, a relationship ending etc. At the time we may feel we have no control over what is happening and experience despair and frustration. However if we choose to become aware, we can see that we have a choice in how to think about our situation.

In many of the self-help books today, they advise us that if you just start thinking positively that we will become more positive. However at times it is easier said than done. If for example you are in a place in your life, where you are experiencing more negative thoughts than positive ones, it may not be so easy to follow this advice. If we don’t learn how to change and control our thoughts, these thoughts can lead us in a direction in our lives that we may and may not want. These thoughts can create sickness or wellness, grow or destroy our relationships, effect our financial wellbeing, make us feel spiritually connected or disconnected and can have a positive or negative impact on our happiness and peace of mind.

In the times that we live in, it is of great necessity to have the skill to be able to control and change our thoughts.

Here are a few guidelines I have found useful as ways to control and change my thoughts;

* Become an observer or a watcher of your thoughts – step back from the dialogue going on in your mind, don’t judge the thoughts – just accept them.

* Don’t identify with the thoughts that you are experiencing – say I am not these thoughts, these thoughts are not me.

* Ask yourself – Do I want what I am thinking today to become my reality tomorrow? 

* Ask yourself – Is this thought really true?

* Practice breathing exercises, meditation and yoga postures which can help to slow down your mind and bring you back to the here and now.

As always I would love to hear any feedback, comments or words of wisdom you may have? Namaste,


5 Essential Ingredients For A Great Loving Relationship


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We all want to have great relationships especially with that special person however often times we seem to be unable to create this in our lives. In the world that we live in, we usually learn how to have relationships from those people around us usually from our parents who often times may not be exactly the perfect role models for a healthy and loving relationship.

In every relationship, there are 3 relationships happening. There is the relationship you have with yourself, the relationship your partner has with themselves and the relationship you have together. If any of these relationships is not healthy and loving, it usually effects the other relationships.

In any relationship, the following ingredients are essential in creating, maintaining and growing a healthy and loving relationship;

1. Trust

Trust always begins with yourself. You can only ever trust somebody as much as you trust yourself. If you don’t trust yourself, it is very hard to trust another.

It is usually our fear rooted beliefs which prevents us from trusting the other person completely. These can be fears of rejection, fears of disapproval, fears of being alone or fears of not being loved by the other person. The less you love yourself, the less you have the ability to trust yourself and the person you love.

Trust essentially starts with yourself. You can start to trust yourself by loving yourself more. You can start to do this by listening to your feelings and trusting the voice within yourself and take action if you feel inspired to do it. When you trust yourself, you start to have more belief and faith in yourself. You let go of the doubts and the beliefs which stop you from trusting yourself and trusting others.

2. Authenticity

When we choose to be fully authentic in a relationship, we choose to be fully ourselves – the good and the bad! At times this can be easier said than done. To be authentic means to stop the people pleasing and approval seeking behaviour that we can have a tendency to engage with when we are in a relationship with somebody. Being authentic means to be true to who you are and to just be yourself. In my experience the more I have choosen to be authentic in a relationship, the more the person I am with has felt free to be authentic.

It is normally our fear that the other person will reject us or may not approve of or love us, which prevents us from being fully authentic in a relationship. At times we may not feel safe to be authentic because of the other person’s judgements or their expectations for us to be a certain way.

You can be authentic by connecting with how you are truly feeling and what you truly want. Then when you are connected with this, you can start communicating this to your partner. Maybe there is something that you don’t like in regards to what your partner is doing or saying. A good first step would be to communicate this to them.

3. Communication

Communication is essential in any relationship especially in relationship with your significant other. They say that we only communicate 7% by the words that we speak and the rest is by our body language and the tone of our voices. I think this is very true. It is so important to be clear and specific in our communication with our loved one otherwise they may interpret what we are saying as to meaning something completely different.

Lack of effective communication is usually caused by the beliefs or opinions we have of what is being communicated to us. We may assume a certain thing by what a person is saying and this may not be the truth of what they are saying. For example if your partner does not want to meet you it could be for a variety of reasons and may not be the beliefs you have in your head. If there are times that we are not present when something is being communicated to us, it is easy not to fully listen to what the other person is saying. If we are emotional, it can also cloud our interpretation of what the person is saying.

In communicating effectively, it is very important to be clear and specific in regards to what you are communicating. Try to let go of any judgements or assumptions you may have in regards to what the person is saying. When you are listening to what is being communicated, it is good practice to be as present and open to the person as possible.

4. Self-care

At times when we are in a relationship we can forget about caring for ourselves. We can focus on the other person and forget about our own needs and wants. Choosing to care for ourselves can mean different things for different people. Essentially it means loving ourselves. It means taking time out for yourself, treating yourself to something nice, knowing your boundaries in a relationship or learning to say no and yes when it feels right.

If you don’t choose to care for yourself in a relationship it can lead to an imbalance. Lots of times the relationship can become a co-dependent relationship because you can have an expectation or need from the other person to care for you and your happiness can become dependent on them. This dynamic can often lead to fights or disagreements.

You can start caring for yourself in a relationship by knowing your boundaries and limitations, by communicating in an authentic way in regards your wants and needs and ultimately taking responsibility for your happiness.

5. Appreciation

Often times we can find it easier to criticize and find fault with the person we are in a relationship with rather than give them praise and show them appreciation. When we focus on the good behaviour of a person, we unconscious reinforce this behaviour. The opposite is true as well in that when we focus on the bad behaviour or the so called bad things that a person does, we reinforce this behaviour, because we are giving attention to it.

You can learn to appreciate the person you are with by saying thanks for the simple little things that they do for you on a daily basis. You could also do this by buying something unexpected for them to show that you appreciate them. You could also make a list of all the great qualities/characteristics that your partner has and tell them about them. They can also do this for you too 🙂

As always I would love to hear any feedback, comments or words of wisdom you may have.