Is The Truth Making You Happy?

Tags

happiness, Health, inspiration, peace, philosophy, psychology, yoga

Our lives are governed by our beliefs. Many of them, we may believe to be the truth. Often times these beliefs, can have the potential to create happiness or unhappiness in our lives and the world around us. Two people with the exactly same set of circumstances and conditions, can have a completely different experience, because of the beliefs they hold.

The beliefs which we choose to believe are rarely an absolute truth. Beliefs are usually a relative truth. At times they can feel like they are actually the truth, because of the evidence we have created about them from our lives. This evidence can evolve from the media, society, people around us, personal experience, parents, teachers and religion.

Our level of happiness can be significantly impacted by the beliefs we choose to adopt in our lives. If for example, we believe a belief to be the truth such as, “life is hard”, this can pave the way to creating more unhappiness. By having unhappy generating beliefs, we can feel more dis-empowered and feel like a victim.

We maybe also less likely to take action to change our situation, if it is required. Because of these beliefs, we could be angry and bitter about things in our life, because they are clouding our perception of the person or the situation. Lack of happiness, peace, joy and love, can be a result of these unhappy beliefs. They can also keep us stuck in life rather than move forward.

Many people can believe that their unhappiness is caused by outside circumstances, people and things. When I traveled India, about a year ago, I noticed that some of the people there had very little in terms of materialism, however they appeared to be genuinely very happy. We can get into the cycle of blaming other people or other things for our unhappiness and say “you are making me sad, angry or unhappy”. However it is usually the beliefs we are believing, which can be creating this experience for us.

When we choose to believe more happy beliefs in our lives, we become more empowered in our experience. We can get more out of life and start living more like a victor. We begin to know that happiness is an inside job and it is not dependent on something outside of ourselves. We feel that we are in control of our lives, rather than allowing circumstances or people determine and control our level of happiness. When we adopt happy generating beliefs, the consequence is that we feel more positive and optimistic.

Here are a few questions I have come up with, in how to change your beliefs to more happy ones:

√   In regards to what I am believing right now – would I prefer to be right or be happy?

√   How is it serving me to believe these unhappy beliefs?

√   What are the consequences of believing these beliefs?

√   Do I really want to change these beliefs?

√   Are these beliefs really true and what is the evidence? 

√   If I choose to believe something different, how would I feel?

√   What could I choose to believe now, to change this belief?

As always I would love to hear any feedback, comments or words of inspiration you may have.

Namaste,

TW

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1 Easy Way To Control Your Mind

Tags

awareness, happiness, inspiration, peace, philosophy, psychology, yoga

Do you ever feel that your mind is overloaded with all that you have to do, be and have?

Life as we know it, has evolved to a much faster pace than what we were use to over 50 years ago. With the advances of technology, the way we communicate, the speed of our vehicles, the time pressures of work deadlines and the many other commitments in our lives, it seems that we simply don’t have time to relax and enjoy the moment. In this 21st century, our lives are much busier now, than they ever were. At times I wonder if all these changes and advances are really moving us to where we ultimately want to be, which is to be more peaceful and happy.

We all have experienced how it feels to be stressed out and our mind is full of thoughts of what we need to do or what we should be doing. It can feel that our mind is like a time bomb just ready to explode. We seem to have more demands on us now more than ever, to reach levels of so called success in all areas of our lives however, with all these demands comes a price. At times, it is not unusual for us to feel like an overworked machine. The consequences of experiencing life this way, are usually a lack of clarity, focus and the ability to think rationally about our life.

When we are in a place of losing control of our minds, it can lead us down an unhealthy path of using and abusing substances such as alcohol, drugs, pharmaceutical drugs, etc. as a temporary way to tame and control our minds. These substances normally only provide a temporary fix and never deal with the root cause of our situation. Usually if this lost of control happens over an extended period of time, it can lead a person to a place of having a nervous breakdown and ultimately they can end up having a physical or mental illness.

When we have the ability and the skill to control our minds, we have the power to be peaceful, calm and relaxed no matter what situation we are in. We bring the power back to ourselves as individuals in that whatever the external situation maybe, we can choose to be calm and peaceful. When our minds are balanced, we experience greater clarity, focus, decisiveness and a higher level of rational and creative thinking. The direct result of being in control of our minds is that we experience greater levels of peace, mental and physical health and ultimately happiness.

So you may ask how can I control this monkey mind?

Well one way I have found very effective is the use of a breathing technique called pranayama. It is an ancient yogic breathing technique, whereby you alternate your breathing in and out through your nose. This technique when used on a daily basis will strengthen your mind with improved concentration and mind control, provide deep relaxation to your body and mind and will strengthen your nervous and respiratory system. It will also purify your mind and body.

The specific technique is called Anuloma Viloma which is known as alternative nostril breathing.

The steps are as follows;

1. Close your eyes and relax. Sit in this position for a couple of minutes till you settle down.
2. Close your right nostril with your right thumb
3. Breath in from your left nostril for the count of 8. Hold your breath for a couple of seconds.
4. Open right nostril and close left nostril with middle and ring finger.
5. Breathe out from your right nostril for the count of 4.
6. Breathe in from your right nostril for the count of 8 and close your right nostril.
7. Open left nostril and breathe out for the count of 4.
8. Repeat again, steps 1 through 7 for 9 rounds initially and gradually building it up to 9 rounds by 3 with a 30 second break in between each 9 rounds.
9. It is recommended to do this practice 4 times a day, once first thing in the morning, last thing at night and two other times during the day.
10. Also when doing this practice, hold the tip of your tongue to the roof of your mouth and this maintains the energy flow / chi in the body.

As always I would love to hear any feedback, suggestions or comments you may have.

Namaste.

TW

Are Your Thoughts Controlling Your Life?

Tags

happiness, Healing, inspiration, peace, philosophy, psychology, yoga

In every second of every minute, we all experience thousands of thoughts in our mind. These thoughts can be positive. They can be negative. They can be wanted or unwanted. They can serve us or they can dis serve us. They can make us happy or unhappy. Ultimately the thoughts we are thinking can create our reality.

Many of us are unaware or unconscious of these thoughts that we are experiencing on a daily basis. Usually we are so busy with our lives, that we don’t have time to think and reflect about what is really going on in this mind of ours. We are bombarded by television, the internet, magazines, newspapers, the radio etc. in what to think. Our educational system as a whole teaches people WHAT to think however it fails in the greatest necessity in teaching people in HOW to think. If we have the power, the ability and the skill to change our thoughts, we can have mastery over ourselves, our lives and ultimately our destiny.

I can see in my life how certain circumstances have changed when I choose to change my thoughts about the situation. Sometimes it wasn’t easy however when I choose to do so, it brought me to a more brighter, more positive and empowered place which served me and those around me. At times in this life we can be given a set of events or circumstances in which we may not like or which we may not have any control over. This could be losing our job, becoming sick, a relationship ending etc. At the time we may feel we have no control over what is happening and experience despair and frustration. However if we choose to become aware, we can see that we have a choice in how to think about our situation.

In many of the self-help books today, they advise us that if you just start thinking positively that we will become more positive. However at times it is easier said than done. If for example you are in a place in your life, where you are experiencing more negative thoughts than positive ones, it may not be so easy to follow this advice. If we don’t learn how to change and control our thoughts, these thoughts can lead us in a direction in our lives that we may and may not want. These thoughts can create sickness or wellness, grow or destroy our relationships, effect our financial wellbeing, make us feel spiritually connected or disconnected and can have a positive or negative impact on our happiness and peace of mind.

In the times that we live in, it is of great necessity to have the skill to be able to control and change our thoughts.

Here are a few guidelines I have found useful as ways to control and change my thoughts;

* Become an observer or a watcher of your thoughts – step back from the dialogue going on in your mind, don’t judge the thoughts – just accept them.

* Don’t identify with the thoughts that you are experiencing – say I am not these thoughts, these thoughts are not me.

* Ask yourself – Do I want what I am thinking today to become my reality tomorrow? 

* Ask yourself – Is this thought really true?

* Practice breathing exercises, meditation and yoga postures which can help to slow down your mind and bring you back to the here and now.

As always I would love to hear any feedback, comments or words of wisdom you may have? Namaste,

TW

5 Essential Ingredients For A Great Loving Relationship

Tags

authenticity, happiness, inspiration, love, philosophy, psychology, Relationships

We all want to have great relationships especially with that special person however often times we seem to be unable to create this in our lives. In the world that we live in, we usually learn how to have relationships from those people around us usually from our parents who often times may not be exactly the perfect role models for a healthy and loving relationship.

In every relationship, there are 3 relationships happening. There is the relationship you have with yourself, the relationship your partner has with themselves and the relationship you have together. If any of these relationships is not healthy and loving, it usually effects the other relationships.

In any relationship, the following ingredients are essential in creating, maintaining and growing a healthy and loving relationship;

1. Trust

Trust always begins with yourself. You can only ever trust somebody as much as you trust yourself. If you don’t trust yourself, it is very hard to trust another.

It is usually our fear rooted beliefs which prevents us from trusting the other person completely. These can be fears of rejection, fears of disapproval, fears of being alone or fears of not being loved by the other person. The less you love yourself, the less you have the ability to trust yourself and the person you love.

Trust essentially starts with yourself. You can start to trust yourself by loving yourself more. You can start to do this by listening to your feelings and trusting the voice within yourself and take action if you feel inspired to do it. When you trust yourself, you start to have more belief and faith in yourself. You let go of the doubts and the beliefs which stop you from trusting yourself and trusting others.

2. Authenticity

When we choose to be fully authentic in a relationship, we choose to be fully ourselves – the good and the bad! At times this can be easier said than done. To be authentic means to stop the people pleasing and approval seeking behaviour that we can have a tendency to engage with when we are in a relationship with somebody. Being authentic means to be true to who you are and to just be yourself. In my experience the more I have choosen to be authentic in a relationship, the more the person I am with has felt free to be authentic.

It is normally our fear that the other person will reject us or may not approve of or love us, which prevents us from being fully authentic in a relationship. At times we may not feel safe to be authentic because of the other person’s judgements or their expectations for us to be a certain way.

You can be authentic by connecting with how you are truly feeling and what you truly want. Then when you are connected with this, you can start communicating this to your partner. Maybe there is something that you don’t like in regards to what your partner is doing or saying. A good first step would be to communicate this to them.

3. Communication

Communication is essential in any relationship especially in relationship with your significant other. They say that we only communicate 7% by the words that we speak and the rest is by our body language and the tone of our voices. I think this is very true. It is so important to be clear and specific in our communication with our loved one otherwise they may interpret what we are saying as to meaning something completely different.

Lack of effective communication is usually caused by the beliefs or opinions we have of what is being communicated to us. We may assume a certain thing by what a person is saying and this may not be the truth of what they are saying. For example if your partner does not want to meet you it could be for a variety of reasons and may not be the beliefs you have in your head. If there are times that we are not present when something is being communicated to us, it is easy not to fully listen to what the other person is saying. If we are emotional, it can also cloud our interpretation of what the person is saying.

In communicating effectively, it is very important to be clear and specific in regards to what you are communicating. Try to let go of any judgements or assumptions you may have in regards to what the person is saying. When you are listening to what is being communicated, it is good practice to be as present and open to the person as possible.

4. Self-care

At times when we are in a relationship we can forget about caring for ourselves. We can focus on the other person and forget about our own needs and wants. Choosing to care for ourselves can mean different things for different people. Essentially it means loving ourselves. It means taking time out for yourself, treating yourself to something nice, knowing your boundaries in a relationship or learning to say no and yes when it feels right.

If you don’t choose to care for yourself in a relationship it can lead to an imbalance. Lots of times the relationship can become a co-dependent relationship because you can have an expectation or need from the other person to care for you and your happiness can become dependent on them. This dynamic can often lead to fights or disagreements.

You can start caring for yourself in a relationship by knowing your boundaries and limitations, by communicating in an authentic way in regards your wants and needs and ultimately taking responsibility for your happiness.

5. Appreciation

Often times we can find it easier to criticize and find fault with the person we are in a relationship with rather than give them praise and show them appreciation. When we focus on the good behaviour of a person, we unconscious reinforce this behaviour. The opposite is true as well in that when we focus on the bad behaviour or the so called bad things that a person does, we reinforce this behaviour, because we are giving attention to it.

You can learn to appreciate the person you are with by saying thanks for the simple little things that they do for you on a daily basis. You could also do this by buying something unexpected for them to show that you appreciate them. You could also make a list of all the great qualities/characteristics that your partner has and tell them about them. They can also do this for you too 🙂

As always I would love to hear any feedback, comments or words of wisdom you may have.

Namaste.

TW

How To Master Your Stress The Yogic Way

Tags

happiness, inspiration, peace, philosophy, psychology, spirituality, Stress, yoga

In the times that we live in, the majority of us experience some level of stress in our daily lives. We may experience this stress because of the many challenges that we have to face with work, relationships, finance, our environment etc. It seems that life on this planet has become much more stressful for people now that what it was 50 or 60 years ago.

As some of you may know, I came to India over 5 months ago and I am still here. As part of this journey, I am currently completing a Yoga Teaching course. I am learning a lot about stress and how this can be reduced and even eliminated by applying the principles of yoga.

Many people buy into the illusion that it is their external situation which is creating the stress in their lives. It is the internal reality in how they choose to interpret the situation they are in, which is creating the stress for them. In the times that we live in, information, business and life has become a never ending race against time, technology and targets. This rat race creates tension in our lives and leads to dissatisfaction and frustration. Eventually this can manifest itself as psychological and physiological stress, leaving us mentally and emotionally drained.

Emotional and mental stresses can greatly upset our own physiological balance as a person. I know in my own life that I have experienced a few stressful situations and they have affected me on all levels – body, mind and spirit.

There are many health complications which can be as a result of stress such as;

* Diabetes
* Hyperacidity
* Migraine
* Arthritis
* Stomach Ulcers
* Allergies
* Thyrotoxicosis
* Auto-immune disorder
* Depression
* Anxiety
* Panic attacks
* Dermatitis

Unfortunately in the times we live in, many people turn to medication and sedatives from the pharmaceutical industry as a way to combat the stress. These tablets only sedate the pain centers and block sensations in our bodies. The stress and tension is not released and it will eventually lead to damaging of our health system.

From my own learnings here on this yoga course, stress according to yoga is an imbalance. In yoga philosophy, it says that all stress begins in the mind. At the mental and physical levels, it is regarded as excessive speed and so a stressful situation which causes pain, can lead to ailments and diseases.

In yoga, a holistic approach to the person is used. It is regarded that it is not enough to just work at the physical level alone to reduce stress. In yoga it is necessary to bring balance to all levels such as our mind, our life energy (prana) , our soul/spirit and our bliss layer.

Yoga can be very effective in reducing and minimizing stress. Many times the stress that we accumulate at the body level can result in stiffness in our joints and spasms of our muscles. These can be released by practicing yoga postures to calm the body down. Rhythmic breathing and breathing slowly can help us to bring a balance to our life energy. We can also gain mastery over our mental processes and eliminate imbalances in our mind by applying awareness and relaxation when doing yoga.

In my own experience of yoga in the last 2 weeks, I have experienced profound states of peace, tranquility, harmony and happiness. I would highly recommend yoga to anybody who wishes to reduce or eliminate stress in their lives.

As always I would love to hear any feedback, comments or words of wisdom you may have.

Namaste,

~ TW