Many of us, myself included, have been conditioned to not be truly ourselves from an early age. We have built up layers of masks to the outside world, never really revealing who we really are.
Wouldn’t it be an amazing world if we allowed ourselves the gift to be fully and truly ourselves?
We have been taught to deny how we truly feel and not say what we truly think. This people pleasing behaviour has prevented us from really been seen for who we truly are, warts and all. It also denies us the opportunity to fully love and accept ourselves in front of another, when we are revealing to them who we truly are.
I feel inspired to write about this because on my recent journey on the Camino de Santiago, I felt complete freedom and the opportunity to be fully myself. I feel I gave myself the permission to do it. However since I have returned to the so called ‘real’ world I have noticed that at times that I am trying to be somebody that I am not. I see myself not fully saying my truth or saying how I feel. I would love to create the possibility of being myself all of the time 🙂
I see in my own life, what ultimately stops me from being myself, is fear. Fear of what other people think of me, fear that I maybe be judged, fear that I will not be loved, fear that I will be alone if I choose to be fully myself, fear that I may hurt people etc. I am aware that this so called ‘fear’ is an illusion. I cannot control what other people think of me, whether they love me or not, whether they judge me or not…..
At times we try to be somebody we are not because we are looking for other people’s approval, acceptance and appreciation when ultimately the only person who can give that to us, is ourselves.
Anthony De Mello says that
“In many ways we were drugged when we were young. We were brought up to need people. For what? For acceptance, approval, appreciation, applause—for what they called success.”
Anthony De Mello ~ Awarness
Also we may be afraid that if we reveal who we really are to the person or the people in front of us, that they will dislike and disapprove of us.
When we continue to be somebody we are not, we may experience unhappiness in our lives, never really giving ourselves the gift of really loving and approving ourselves as we truly are. Ultimately we can experience a sense of dis-ease within ourselves because our external selves are not congruent or in line with our inner selves.
So how do we go about stop trying to be somebody we are not?
Well a few ways I have found useful are;
* To just listen to ourselves and see what feels right for us.
* Become aware of when we are on the people pleasing mode.
* Write morning pages – stream of conscious.
* Trust our inner inspirations.
* Choose to love and approve of ourselves, exactly as we are.
* Have the courage to express our true self, if it feels right to do so.
* Say to ourselves that it really is okay to be who we are.
As always, I would love to hear any feedback or suggestions you may have.
Namaste,
~ TW
jimcolv said:
I empathize with your journey. I have been there on more than one occasion in my own life; where I found myself being anything but my true self for fear that I wouldn’t fit in or be ridiculed for not following the flock. But as you said, “it be an amazing world if we allowed ourselves the gift to be fully and truly ourselves”.
It surely would be a much pleasant experience if we were actually the image we portrayed to others or simply portray an image that is closer to self and not who others want us to be.
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The Truth Warrior said:
Hi. Great to hear from you. Thanks so much for your comment! It certainly is a journey:) Namaste. ~ TW
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Tiffany said:
Such a true and inspiring post! I can definitely relate a lot to what you are saying! 🙂
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The Truth Warrior said:
Thanks so much for your inspiring and encouraging comment. Great to hear from you. Namaste. ~ TW
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Sloan said:
Reblogged this on fibrohappiness and commented:
A great post from the Truth Warrior. Tips to help you Just Do You!
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Sloan said:
Outstanding Post! Blessings, love, & light, Sloan
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The Truth Warrior said:
Thanks so much Sloan. Namaste. ~ TW
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chuggathought said:
Very truthful post! It’s kinda crazy that we seek the approval and acceptance of others but not the approval or acceptance of ourselves. Great post.
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The Truth Warrior said:
Thanks for your encouraging words. Namaste. ~ TW
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verdant1 said:
@chuggathought – that’s so true. I am going to take your comment and sit with it. Very profound – and right on! Thanks 🙂
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The Truth Warrior said:
Thanks so much for sharing. Great to hear from you. Namaste. TW
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The Landy said:
I’m hearing you, great article!
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The Truth Warrior said:
Thanks:) Namaste. ~ TW
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Danny Williams said:
Nice post!
This is something that I get frustrated about as so, so few people realise that are not what they think they are…! I sometimes post things of this nature myself, as for me, this is one of the most important things to discover about one’s self.
It’s good to hear another blogger finding the same truth as I find… encouraging too.
Keep following the path, if only to see where it leads!
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The Truth Warrior said:
Hi there!! Thanks for sharing your inspiring words. Great to hear from somebody who is on a similar path. Namaste. ~ TW
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joette tizzone said:
TW, thanks for the “like” on my post and letting me know you’re around. I look forward to knowing you more via the posting process. 🙂
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The Truth Warrior said:
You’re welcome. Namaste. ~ TW
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Blaine Light (@blainelight) said:
“You’re”, not “Your”, but good post otherwise 🙂
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The Truth Warrior said:
Thanks 🙂 Well spotted!! Namaste. ~ TW
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Julianne Victoria said:
Great post! I think the most important point made, is that if we aren’t our true selves we are not able to love ourselves for who we are, and in turn, we are not able to love others. If we all try to be real, instead of presenting an image of what our egos want others to see, the world would be inundated with love.
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The Truth Warrior said:
Its so true what you said that if “we aren’t our true selves we are not able to love ourselves for who we are” Thanks so much for sharing. Namaste. ~ TW
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athenabrady.co.uk said:
I can see that your journey has affected you deeply. as it seems to do to all that complete it. I have read Shirley Mc Laine’s book on her journey, it was fascinating. This is something I would like to do one day. I can really resonate with what you are saying today. We all need to give yourselves permission to be ourselves. I would love to hear more about your journey. Maybe you could start a weekly page about what you learnt and experienced?
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The Truth Warrior said:
Hi Anthena. Thanks for your great words. Its so true that we need to ourselves permission to be ourselves. I will write more about my journey. Namaste. ~ TW
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Samadhi Yaisha said:
This is just what I needed to read today. Thank you so much. I am too striving to become who I really am. Not easy. All that conditioning kicks very hard. I am learning one step at a time. Blessings.
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The Truth Warrior said:
Thanks for sharing 🙂 Its all about the journey. Namaste. ~ TW
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Lori DiNardi said:
This is a wonderfully thoughtful peace. It’s my thought that we aren’t brought up to “need.” Since we are all interconnected, we will always seek that love we get in the “One body”. I think that’s our nature. What I find we are brought up to do, is play a certain role. Once we are type-cast into that role, we are expected to play it all of our lives. I don’t know if I’m making any sense. But, when we’re children, through family dynamics we get pigeon-holed into being what they expect of us. We carry that with us into adulthood because this is what we’ve been told and we don’t know any different. That’s when we run into issues in relationships and such. These issues are meant to be clues to awaken us to be ourselves, or who we really are. Not sure why I went on, or if I made any sense, but this is a topic that interests me. Thank you for posting it.
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The Truth Warrior said:
I agree with you. It can be easy to fall in to the role of who we are suppose to be from an early age. The journey is to let go of the expectations of those around us 🙂 Thanks for sharing. Namaste. ~ TW
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rangewriter said:
Your topic is an important one.
For myself, I think I’ve pretty much put people pleasing behind me. I don’t keep my mouth shut to present a more “likable” image of myself, but I do bite my tongue around others for two other reasons. 1. I would prefer to not hurt someone else’s feelings if my beliefs are contrary to theirs and I also prefer not to stir up emotionally driven conflict and argument. 2. Sometimes by keeping my own mouth shut, I may learn something from someone who has something quite different to say. (At least that is the theory…I’m still working on that one. ;-})
The cool thing is that here on the blogosphere, we can be as honest and open as we allow ourselves to be. Good practice, perhaps, for the real world.
BTW, thanks for the follow. It’s nice getting to know you.
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The Truth Warrior said:
Hi there. Thanks so much for your comment and your honesty. Its great to here from you. Namaste. ~ TW
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momentswithmillie said:
Wonderful!
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The Truth Warrior said:
Thanks so much. Namaste. ~ TW
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Emily Rain said:
When I went on that stage, Life is not it seems to be. Everything is not what I want it to be. I don’t want anything to be perfect. I just want it to be real.
About having fear? yeah. We all have it. Who doesn’t? That’s the time that we must ask ourselves the question… If others can do it, why can’t I? A lot of courage is required.
By the way, just be yourself. =)
Doesn’t even matter what people might think of/about you. If they judge you, there are only two things that you might like to know, One is that They don’t know you, and the other one is, they really know you. No one can stop the real you, as long as you’re not stepping on anybody’s foot. Everything’s gonna be alright.
Love the blog by the way. =)
Thanks.
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The Truth Warrior said:
Thank you for your words of wisdom. I heard a quote once. It said “just be yourself, its too much hard work trying to be somebody else:)” Thank for sharing and I agree with what you have said. Its so true 🙂 Namaste. ~ TW
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Emily Rain said:
You’re welcome. And the quote is quite true. I can so totally relate to your blog that’s why I got carried away with my words. Anyway, thanks also for sharing your thoughts about being ourselves. =)
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The Truth Warrior said:
You are welcome 🙂 It was great to hear from you. Namaste. ~ TW
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Anjaan Rahgir said:
Nice, simple and wonderful….
Peace & Love…
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The Truth Warrior said:
Thanks 🙂 Namaste. ~ TW
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terry1954 said:
Right now, I am working through this situation in my own life. I have been trained to think of others before myself, and now I am not happy, because I have hidden who I really am. Here at WP, I am much freer to express the true creature of whom I am, and am now trying to express to family my feelings, without the fear that they will turn a way from me
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The Truth Warrior said:
Hi. Thanks for sharing and being so honest. I wish you well on your journey to being true to yourself. Namaste. ~ TW
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terry1954 said:
thank you!
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MIRROR said:
Greeting to Sir or Madam,
I am so new to blogging that I have not yet located your profile to find out how best to address you. I am still struggling with my blog I apologize in advance that there will be many updates of correction.
Thank you so much for liking my blog. I had anticipated that my blog would be unread for many months, it was such a surprise to have a response so soon. Your thoughts are lovely and I notice you and I share the same theme Chateau!
I have clicked the button ‘follow’ on your site. I hope it was the way to do it. Like I said, I am still new to this. Have a nice weekend.
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The Truth Warrior said:
Hi 🙂 Thanks so much for your comment and welcome to the world of blogging. I look forward to reading your posts. Namaste. ~ TW
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krappslasttape said:
Great post! A simple but profound message. And thanks for following my blog. 🙂
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The Truth Warrior said:
Thanks so much for your kind words. Namaste. ~ TW
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ivonprefontaine said:
Thank you for dropping by, liking a post, and following my blog today. I look forward to traveling along with you and sharing back and forth.
Take care,
Ivon
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The Truth Warrior said:
Thanks Ivon. I do too. Namaste. ~ TW
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pallavisharma said:
This post of yours totally resonates with my thoughts. Infact it’s funny that you posted this article about the idea of “being yourself” around the same time I was heavily indulging in conversations around the same idea. Great work!
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The Truth Warrior said:
Thanks for sharing. I wish you much success on your journey. Namaste. ~ TW
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smiles00 said:
Great post .. good writing … so true! Thanks for visiting my blog. Perhaps you have seen Eckhart Tolle with The New Earth Series? I have the first two on my blog and there is much to offer along the same thought waves as yourself. Keep up the writing … Namaste 🙂
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The Truth Warrior said:
Thanks so much. Yes I have read The New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. Great book. Thanks for sharing and I look forward to following your blog. Namaste. ~ TW
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California Kid said:
This post centers around a very important aspect of people’s everyday lives that has been developed since childhood. Since fear is a great motivator in all of our lives, we are shaped by it both positively and negatively. Because we want to avoid the negative effects of fear, we never fully develop into the kind of people your post encourages people to be like.
What needs to be understood here is that everyone lives a life in duality — one part of us wears a mask that only we understand and see, and the other part of us wears a mask that we put on every time we step outside and face the world. Thus, we hide behind a facade that keeps us in our comfort zone but inhibits us from being the people that we truly could be. If people follow your excellent advise in this post, then they can begin to remove their masks more often and stop living their lives behind a facade. Doing this is so liberating and fulfilling!
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The Truth Warrior said:
I love what you have said. It is really excellent. Thank you so much for sharing. Namaste. ~ TW
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Priyash Jain said:
you have prompted me out, a new change to be incurred in my life…nice Philosophy…
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The Truth Warrior said:
Thanks 🙂 Best of luck with your new change. Namaste. ~ TW
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Mahogany said:
Hi, I have nominated you for the Inspiring Blogger Award and Beautiful Blogger Award…because I think you deserve a little something for making your blog always look fab! To share this little bit of blogging kindness: 1. Display the award image on your blog. 2. Link back to the person who nominated you. 3. State 7 things about yourself. 4. Nominate 15 other bloggers and link to their sites. 5. Notify the bloggers that they have been nominated and link to the post. Thank you for all your great posts and congratulations!
http://crazyfunsexyguide.com/2012/11/25/thank-you-thank-you/
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The Truth Warrior said:
Thanks you so much for this wonderful award. I really appreciate it. Namaste. ~ Tw
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coachdestiny said:
Great read. I was reflecting yesterday on how by living in people pleasing mode we start to slowly but surely dissociate from our true beings and feelings and the importance of really being connected to one’s self. This connection is key to bring about the changes we want to see in our lives and to living with a sense of fulfillment. Lot’s of love!!! ~ Mariliz
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The Truth Warrior said:
Hi. Thanks for sharing your wonderful words of truth. Its so true. Namaste. ~ TW
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jmeyersforeman said:
I finished the camino recently, it was a wonderful experience.
I agree that fears keeps us confined. Even before the camino, I found that I got back from people what I gave to them. if I stop the negative self talk that can go on in my head when I am tired, hungry or feeling unworthy, if I breath, smile, and accept people without judegement I am often greeted with a smile and in an accepting manner.
This can be harder at home with long term relationships, the history of interactions affect how we receive and are received. Again I remined myself to breath, be present in the moment, and accept with love the person in front of me.
I try regularily to understand my fears, and to be kind to myself.
thanks for visiting my blog, I look forward to future visits. Each day is a journey, and I try to post an image from my day.
each day is a journey “buen camino” my friend.
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The Truth Warrior said:
I love what you said – “I try regularily to understand my fears, and to be kind to myself.” Thanks for sharing such an inspiring and encouraging message. Great to hear from you!!! Namaste. ~ TW
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Ncardoso said:
Great post, I took the liberty to share with some of my friends. The journey to rediscover who we once were is not a always pleasant one, but it is a pleasure to finally find out that there, under the pile of clutter we’ve accumulated throughout life, lays the seed of who we truly are, being truthful to that person is worth a lot.
Thank you for your post. Namaste.
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The Truth Warrior said:
You are very welcome and I am glad that you enjoyed it. Namaste. ~ TW
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Meggo The Flying Eggo said:
Reblogged this on Journey to the Good Place. and commented:
Very helpful words of wisdom from a talented blogger.
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The Truth Warrior said:
Thanks so much 🙂 Namaste. ~ TW
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Dan said:
Hello, TW,
An old song goes, “No man is an island, no man stands alone,. . . each man as my brother, each man as my friend,” or something like that. Update it to inclusive language, and it speaks a truth about our need for authentic community. The keyword is authentic, and takes into account that if we are to have that, each of us must be true first to ourselves. That is a point you make.
John Powell wrote several books, one of them “Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am.” A friend asked if he wanted an answer, Powell said, “Of course, it’s why I wrote the book.” His friend replied, “I am afraid to tell you who I am because who I am is all I have, and you may not like me.” I believe we do need each other. It would be a very dreary place if I only had myself to be in relationship with. I agree that a half a person plus a half of another person never makes two whole persons. We do need wholeness before relationship. Once I’ve found it, I will reach out to you because I believe a deep place inside of me wants to touch a deep place in you, and be touched by you in return. Blogging itself suggests that we want to touch and be touched by others; it is a community. We need each others’ feedback; each other’s support.
Thanks for visiting my blog! I will be following yours. Don’t make me hunt for it – what does Namaste mean?
Dan
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The Truth Warrior said:
Hi Dan. Thanks for sharing your amazing words of wisdom and inspiration. “Namaste” means “I bow to the divine in you” It truly would be an wonderful thing to be able to create an authentic community. Namaste. ~ TW
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frombeauty2fashion said:
Thank tou for following me today!
I am glad you did becaise it lead me to this beautiful post! I know for fact that I have always felt the need to please. Even with my blog I jave remind myself often that I am doing it for my own pleasure and that people will read or not read and it doesn’t matter! 🙂
I shall be back soon 🙂 x
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The Truth Warrior said:
Hi. Thanks for sharing. Great to hear from you. Namaste. ~ TW
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smarterwiser said:
Thank you so much for sharing and for being such an inspiration. I am just beginning my journey and look forward to all of the things to come. Out of a dysfunctional and abusive childhood I came into an abusive marriage. I am now 43 and just learning who I really am and I am so thankful for my fellow bloggers and the willingness of others to share their true selves!!
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The Truth Warrior said:
Hi. Thanks for sharing and for your honesty. I wish you the best on your own journey. Namaste. ~ TW
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Hai said:
Hi, thanks for following my blog. I think we are on the same wavelength with our thinking 🙂
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The Truth Warrior said:
Yes. I think so too. You have a great blog. Namaste. ~ TW
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Walking No Line said:
“Ultimately we can experience a sense of dis-ease within ourselves because our external selves are not congruent or in line with our inner selves.”
I like how you hit on that- the dissonance, or dis-ease, that happens when inner and outer aren’t the same.
While expressing ‘me’ might not always be appropriate to the situation, if ‘I’ am going to be expressed, it’s genuine me or nothing.
Great post. I look forward to reading more. 🙂
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The Truth Warrior said:
Thanks for sharing and great to hear from you. Namaste. ~ TW
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dpisterzi said:
I completely agree with you. Trusting your inner self is the most important thing I’ve found. Sometimes in the “real” world, we’ve already established relationships where you act a certain way. You tend to keep acting that way, the way you’re expected to, maybe even after you’ve grown and feel differently.
I find when traveling, you get true freedom. You can finally be yourself. I’m guessing you experienced something like that. Glad you liked it and wanted to take it back home. You can do it! 🙂
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The Truth Warrior said:
Thanks for your words of encouragement and inspiration. I love what you said. “Trusting your inner self is the most important thing” Its so true. Thanks for sharing. Namaste. ~ TW
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sagedoyle said:
I’ve nominated you for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award! Have a look http://wp.me/p2DnTA-uz
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The Truth Warrior said:
Thanks so much. I really appreciate it. Namaste. ~ TW
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sagedoyle said:
You’re welcome! Namaste 🙂
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Hussein Ghouleh said:
its amazing how every time I come back here, we talk about the same subjects at heart.
I was able to break free from that cycle, first…by accepting who I am, starting with my weaknesses, and building on my strength points, being more aware of what make me happy, made me less and less care about what people might or might not think. Until I reached the level were I myself was able not to judge people, however they were, thus being accepted for who I am… regardless how crazy I got to be 🙂
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The Truth Warrior said:
Thanks for sharing your journey and I love what you said. Namaste. ~ TW
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LoveDesignLife said:
Your post is spot on! I have also found that people who know they need to make some changes in their life would sooner adopt a persona than face that. After some time they become agitated and angry that they cannot be their true selves as everyone has bought the persona and they are scared of what will happen if they show who they really are.
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The Truth Warrior said:
I love what you have said. Its so true. Thanks for sharing. Namaste. ~ TW
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LoveDesignLife said:
Peace & Light
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onestreetshy said:
What a wonderful post
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The Truth Warrior said:
Thanks 🙂 Namaste. ~ TW
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wsforchrist said:
I loved your post. I agree that people should be honest. However, self-control is an important component of any relationship. Words can hurt. Looks can wound. There are times when blurting out exactly what you feel can have a negative affect on others. I can suggest the golden rule should not be forgotten as we assert our true selves.
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The Truth Warrior said:
I agree 🙂 I think that if we can come from a place of love, when we choose to express how we feel. Thanks for sharing. Namaste. ~ TW
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jem24hoursaday said:
Reblogged this on Coffee Jemmy and commented:
This actually applies to me a lot right now. I mean, I do have a lot of issues and it tends me to be somebody that I’m not. Then I realized to stop pushing myself to be accepted and just appreciate those who accepts me as I’am.
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The Truth Warrior said:
Hi. Thanks so much for sharing. It is always a nice reminder to be gentle and kind with ourselves. Namaste. ~ TW
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Efiabevi said:
I just stepped upon your post and it happened to be exactly what I need today. I find myself confused sometimes in this journey we call Life because of the pleasing people fix I think I need to get, for what reason? I believe this is syncronicity, I haven’t been on wordpress in a while…so thank you for these words and for sharing your experience, much appreciated.
Peace, Love & Light.
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The Truth Warrior said:
You are very welcome. I wish you much success on your own journey of being true to who you are. Namaste. ~ TW
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