I think the majority of us in this world want to be happy, whether we know it or not. At times it can be easier said than done with all that life brings us and we can forget how to just be simply happy. They say the goal behind every goal is happiness. I would agree with that. When we choose to be happy, our life just flows and that happiness can have a positive affect on everybody that we meet. When we are not happy however, that affects everybody too.
I think Esther Hicks from her book “Ask and it is given” has a great quote about happiness;
“The greatest gift that you could ever give to another is your own happiness, for when you are in a state of joy, happiness, or appreciation, you are fully connected to the Stream of pure, positive Source Energy that is truly who you are. And when you are in that state of connection, anything or anyone that you are holding as your object of attention benefits from your attention.”
From my own experience, here are some ways I have found useful in helping me to achieve happiness in my life;
Many of us can compare ourselves, our lives, our possessions, our jobs, our money etc. to other people around us. We can compare ourselves to what is being portrayed on the media as the perfect life and feel that we are not good enough as a result. We may even compare where our lives are now to where we were.
When somebody has a so called better house, car, job it doesn’t mean that they are more happier. Some of the happiest people I have met are people who have very little. Happiness doesn’t come from the outer things as we are brainwashed to believe, it is an inside job.
When we compare ourselves to something or somebody outside ourselves, we are essentially not loving or accepting ourselves. We can never know what another person’s journey is. The first step is to start to love and accept yourself exactly as you are and where you are.
If we are living our lives in the past or in the future, it is practically impossible to be in the here and now, where all happiness exists. When we choose to be present, we allow ourselves to be happy. We all have things that we regret and that we would like to change about the past. There are certain things or ways that we would like our future life to be, however the only moment we ever have is now.
We can live our lives attached the story of our past however it is our choice if we really want to be happy now and choose to let go of the past. It’s important to plan for the future but still be present on what you are engaging with right now, knowing that it is moving you in the direction of where you want to be.
The key in my experience to being present is to become aware of when I am not present. Also engaging in activities that I enjoy has also helped me to become more present.
Let go of expectations
If we have expectations of people, jobs, places etc. to be a certain way for us to be happy then we are allowing our happiness to be dependent on something outside of ourselves. We are attached to something for our happiness.
I can see in my own life that at times I allowed my happiness to be determined by how successful I was in my job, if I had great relationship with somebody I love etc. Sometimes when I was not successful in these areas, I experienced unhappiness.
What I have found helpful was to go for what I want, do the best I can and let go of the expectation for the result to be a certain way. I am in India at the moment and before I came I decided to let go of any expectations of India to be a certain way. I have found this approach very useful in having a happier experience here.
Be true to yourself
A quote I heard a while ago is;
” To be yourself in a world that is trying night and day to make you like everybody else, is probably the greatest battle there is to fight”
At times it can be hard for us to be ourselves and we need great courage and strength to be true to ourselves.
In my experience when I wasn’t true to myself, I have found that I experienced unhappiness in myself. In my last job I felt that I wasn’t been true to myself and that I was compromising my happiness because of a wage check at the end of the week.
As I mentioned earlier I am currently in India. It has been a long time dream of mine to travel India and embrace the culture here. I really do feel that I am being true to myself while I am traveling India at the moment.
To be true to yourself, live life based on your own approval and acceptance. Learn to listen and trust your heart and just go for what you want. Ask yourself what makes my heart sing?
When we are in the mode of blaming and complaining we are not in a place of gratitude. We are essentially focusing on the negative and usually creating more of that in our lives.
Having being in India for a little under a week, I see people who could have a real reason to complain. There is a significant amount people who are actually sleeping on the streets here, sometimes it can be whole families. Other times I have seen people who have no legs or arms and are homeless on the street here as well. India is teaching me that I have so much to be grateful for.
Being grateful for where we are right now is definately a key to happiness. We have so much to be grateful for such as our health, our job, our house, our family, our friends etc. Being grateful is not just about saying it but it is about really feeling and believing it.
Well as always I would love to hear any feedback, comments or words of
wisdom you may have…