What Is Your Excuse?

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Beautiful Landscape

We can all dream of living the life of maybe a singer, an actor. a writer, a musician, a teacher or maybe just traveling the world. However many of us can block ourselves from pursuing our hearts desires because of the excuses we tell ourselves and the excuses we believe to be the truth.

These excuses can range from;

“I’m too old”
 
“I don’t have the time”
 
“I don’t have the money”  
 
“ I’m too young”
 
“I’m not creative enough”
  
“It won’t work out”  
 
“I have too much to do”  
 
“It’s just not practical”
 
“I’m too tired”   
 
“I will not succeed in this”   
 
“I’m not good enough”
  
“It’s not realistic”

 

I can see in my own life that I have been guilty of some of these excuses. I have found it fascinating the lies we can tell ourselves. I remember when I decided to go to India over 10 months ago, it had been a long time desire of mine to go there. At the time I was still working and I was making up all these excuses of why I couldn’t go and shouldn’t go….”I don’t have the time” “I don’t have the money” and “It won’t work out”. However I found when I made the decision and took action, that all these excuses just fell away.

Many of us can make excuses because we are maybe afraid of being rejected or we have the fear of failure. I believe that if we really knew that we would succeed, what would stop us from trying or going for it? We may also be worried about what other people think of us in regards to if we fail or even succeed. We could also be afraid of the possibility of being truly happy in our lives…

Unfortunately if we continue to make excuses in our lives and we don’t go for what we truly want, then we can end up living a life of regret, saying that I should have done this and I should have done that. We can become bitter, angry and even depressed because we are not listening to ourselves and trusting and acting on this inspiration we receive. We can end of living a life of wishing and hoping things were better and possibly wasting our lives away.

When we choose to stop making excuses and start taking action towards what we want to be, do or have, we immediately begin to feel good about ourselves. We start being happier and more joyful. We begin to feel more enthusiasm, excitement and energy for life. This state of happiness affects everybody we meet and we become more alive in ourselves.

Here are a few tips in how you can stop making excuses in your life;

√   Ask is this excuse really true?

√   If I didn’t believe this excuse, what would I do?

√   How is it serving me to believe this excuse?

√   What are the consequences of believing this excuse?

√   What is the first step I could take, to change or make this happen now?

√   What’s next?

As always I would love to hear any feedback, comments or words of inspiration you may have…

Namaste.

~ TW

The Magic Of Asking The Right Questions

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Most of us want to improve some area of our lives, however at times this can be easier said than done. They say that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. This is very true. Another definition could also be asking the same questions over and over again and expecting a different result.  I was reflecting to myself the other day, on the importance of asking ourselves the right questions.

Our lives are filled with opportunities and challenges every day. Often times it can be our negative view points, poor attitudes or limiting beliefs which can block us from creating solutions to our problems. We could have a job we hate, be struggling financially, be in a relationship that isn’t fullfilling or have other problems. Many of us have been guilty, myself included, of going into the cycle of focusing on the problem by complaining and blaming, however this way of responding rarely gets us positive results.

Asking questions such as; Why me? What else can go wrong? Why does this always happen to me? How come I never seem to get what I want? What is wrong with me? Or why am I always doing this to myself? rarely help to reframe our situation to a more empowering positive one. When we engage in problem focused questions, they dont help us move to a more positive place in our lives and only disempower us to continue with the negative problem focused story in our heads.

When we choose to start asking ourselves questions which are more focused and positive, we are more likely to get more happiness and peace in our lives. They can help us to see our situation from a different view point and empower us to let go the limiting beliefs we have about our situation. We are also more likely to take positive action which best serves us and those around us. These questions also open our minds to more possibilities and opportunities.

If you have a situation in your life, which you consider a problem, here are a few solution focused questions you may like to ask yourself;

*   What do I need to understand or learn from this experience?

*   What could I do to change or improve my situation?

*   What’s next?

*   What do I want to happen?

*   What is the next step I need to take to create a solution in this situation?

*   What am I grateful for now?

*   How could I turn this situation around?

As always I would love to hear any feedback, comments or suggestions you may have….

Namaste.

TW

1 Easy Way To Control Your Mind

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Do you ever feel that your mind is overloaded with all that you have to do, be and have?

Life as we know it, has evolved to a much faster pace than what we were use to over 50 years ago. With the advances of technology, the way we communicate, the speed of our vehicles, the time pressures of work deadlines and the many other commitments in our lives, it seems that we simply don’t have time to relax and enjoy the moment. In this 21st century, our lives are much busier now, than they ever were. At times I wonder if all these changes and advances are really moving us to where we ultimately want to be, which is to be more peaceful and happy.

We all have experienced how it feels to be stressed out and our mind is full of thoughts of what we need to do or what we should be doing. It can feel that our mind is like a time bomb just ready to explode. We seem to have more demands on us now more than ever, to reach levels of so called success in all areas of our lives however, with all these demands comes a price. At times, it is not unusual for us to feel like an overworked machine. The consequences of experiencing life this way, are usually a lack of clarity, focus and the ability to think rationally about our life.

When we are in a place of losing control of our minds, it can lead us down an unhealthy path of using and abusing substances such as alcohol, drugs, pharmaceutical drugs, etc. as a temporary way to tame and control our minds. These substances normally only provide a temporary fix and never deal with the root cause of our situation. Usually if this lost of control happens over an extended period of time, it can lead a person to a place of having a nervous breakdown and ultimately they can end up having a physical or mental illness.

When we have the ability and the skill to control our minds, we have the power to be peaceful, calm and relaxed no matter what situation we are in. We bring the power back to ourselves as individuals in that whatever the external situation maybe, we can choose to be calm and peaceful. When our minds are balanced, we experience greater clarity, focus, decisiveness and a higher level of rational and creative thinking. The direct result of being in control of our minds is that we experience greater levels of peace, mental and physical health and ultimately happiness.

So you may ask how can I control this monkey mind?

Well one way I have found very effective is the use of a breathing technique called pranayama. It is an ancient yogic breathing technique, whereby you alternate your breathing in and out through your nose. This technique when used on a daily basis will strengthen your mind with improved concentration and mind control, provide deep relaxation to your body and mind and will strengthen your nervous and respiratory system. It will also purify your mind and body.

The specific technique is called Anuloma Viloma which is known as alternative nostril breathing.

The-Truth-Warrior---Anuloma-Viloma

The steps are as follows;

  1. Close your eyes and relax. Sit in this position for a couple of minutes till you settle down.
  2. Close your right nostril with your right thumb
  3. Breath in from your left nostril for the count of 8. Hold your breath for a couple of seconds.
  4. Open right nostril and close left nostril with middle and ring finger.
  5. Breathe out from your right nostril for the count of 4.
  6. Breathe in from your right nostril for the count of 8 and close your right nostril.
  7. Open left nostril and breathe out for the count of 4.
  8. Repeat again, steps 1 through 7 for 9 rounds initially and gradually building it up to 9 rounds by 3 with a 30 second break in between each 9 rounds.
  9. It is recommended to do this practice 4 times a day, once first thing in the morning, last thing at night and two other times during the day.
  10. Also when doing this practice, hold the tip of your tongue to the roof of your mouth and this maintains the energy flow / chi in the body.

As always I would love to hear any feedback, suggestions or comments you may have.

Namaste.

TW

5 Top Secrets To Happiness

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I think the majority of us in this world want to be happy, whether we know it or not. At times it can be easier said than done with all that life brings us and we can forget how to just be simply happy. They say the goal behind every goal is happiness. I would agree with that. When we choose to be happy, our life just flows and that happiness can have a positive affect on everybody that we meet. When we are not happy however, that affects everybody too.

I think Esther Hicks from her book “Ask and it is given” has a great quote about happiness;

“The greatest gift that you could ever give to another is your own happiness, for when you are in a state of joy, happiness, or appreciation, you are fully connected to the Stream of pure, positive Source Energy that is truly who you are. And when you are in that state of connection, anything or anyone that you are holding as your object of attention benefits from your attention.”

From my own experience, here are some ways I have found useful in helping me to achieve happiness in my life;

Stop Comparing

Many of us can compare ourselves, our lives, our possessions, our jobs, our money etc. to other people around us. We can compare ourselves to what is being portrayed on the media as the perfect life and feel that we are not good enough as a result. We may even compare where our lives are now to where we were.

When somebody has a so called better house, car, job it doesn’t mean that they are more happier. Some of the happiest people I have met are people who have very little. Happiness doesn’t come from the outer things as we are brainwashed to believe, it is an inside job.

When we compare ourselves to something or somebody outside ourselves, we are essentially not loving or accepting ourselves. We can never know what another person’s journey is. The first step is to start to love and accept yourself exactly as you are and where you are.

Be present

If we are living our lives in the past or in the future, it is practically impossible to be in the here and now, where all happiness exists. When we choose to be present, we allow ourselves to be happy. We all have things that we regret and that we would like to change about the past. There are certain things or ways that we would like our future life to be, however the only moment we ever have is now.

We can live our lives attached the story of our past however it is our choice if we really want to be happy now and choose to let go of the past. It’s important to plan for the future but still be present on what you are engaging with right now, knowing that it is moving you in the direction of where you want to be.

The key in my experience to being present is to become aware of when I am not present. Also engaging in activities that I enjoy has also helped me to become more present.

Let go of expectations

If we have expectations of people, jobs, places etc. to be a certain way for us to be happy then we are allowing our happiness to be dependent on something outside of ourselves. We are attached to something for our happiness.

I can see in my own life that at times I allowed my happiness to be determined by how successful I was in my job, if I had great relationship with somebody I love etc. Sometimes when I was not successful in these areas, I experienced unhappiness.

What I have found helpful was to go for what I want, do the best I can and let go of the expectation for the result to be a certain way. I am in India at the moment and before I came I decided to let go of any expectations of India to be a certain way. I have found this approach very useful in having a happier experience here.

Be true to yourself

A quote I heard a while ago is;

” To be yourself in a world that is trying night and day to make you like everybody else, is probably the greatest battle there is to fight”

At times it can be hard for us to be ourselves and we need great courage and strength to be true to ourselves.

In my experience when I wasn’t true to myself, I have found that I experienced unhappiness in myself. In my last job I felt that I wasn’t been true to myself and that I was compromising my happiness because of a wage check at the end of the week.

As I mentioned earlier I am currently in India. It has been a long time dream of mine to travel India and embrace the culture here. I really do feel that I am being true to myself while I am traveling India at the moment.

To be true to yourself, live life based on your own approval and acceptance. Learn to listen and trust your heart and just go for what you want. Ask yourself what makes my heart sing?

Be Grateful

When we are in the mode of blaming and complaining we are not in a place of gratitude. We are essentially focusing on the negative and usually creating more of that in our lives.

Having being in India for a little under a week, I see people who could have a real reason to complain. There is a significant amount people who are actually sleeping on the streets here, sometimes it can be whole families. Other times I have seen people who have no legs or arms and are homeless on the street here as well. India is teaching me that I have so much to be grateful for.

Being grateful for where we are right now is definately a key to happiness. We have so much to be grateful for such as our health, our job, our house, our family, our friends etc. Being grateful is not just about saying it but it is about really feeling and believing it.

Well as always I would love to hear any feedback, comments or words of
wisdom you may have…

Namaste.

TW

7 Ways How To Start Loving Yourself

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In the times that we live in, it can be hard to take the time to love ourselves with our busy schedules and our hectic lives. We can spend our lives trying to prove ourselves to those around us and end up never taking the time to really love ourselves. A lot of the media has conditioned us into believing that if we have these so called external things then we will be loved and feel loved.

It is usually our lack of trust and belief in ourselves which can prevent us from loving ourselves. Feelings such as I am not good enough and that I don’t deserve can be a part of the conditioning that we feel that it is wrong to love ourselves. When we judge or compare ourselves to other people in society, it can be a barrier to us loving ourselves. Many of us live with the need to receive external validation, approval and acceptance from other people and never really giving it to ourselves.

When we are not loving ourselves, we usually don’t feel happy with ourselves. We have a tendency to not trust and believe in ourselves and the unique talents and gifts we have to offer the world. We also can be looking for approval, validation, acceptance and praise from other people. Often times when we are not loving ourselves we tend to not feel a sense of joy, peace and contentment in our lives. We can also believe that somebody like our soul mate is going make us happy and complete our lives however we need to be able to create this for ourselves.

When we are loving ourselves, we usually love and accept ourselves. We find it easy to just be ourselves and not try to be anything that we are not. We find that we treat ourselves kindly, gently and with the respect and dignity that we deserve. When we are loving ourselves, we tend to listen to ourselves and trust the answer that comes. We find it easy to say Yes to what we want and No to what we don’t want. When we are in this place, we seem to be living our lives based on our own approval, acceptance and validation. We find it easy to trust and believe in who we are and have the courage and faith to go for what we want regardless of what other people’s opinions are.

There are many benefits in choosing to love yourself such as;

* Being able to have a feeling of happiness and a sense of joy within.

* Having a more relaxed and carefree life because you are not trying to be anybody that you are not.

* Feeling that you are good enough exactly as you are and you are living your life based on your own approval, acceptance, praise and validation.

* Having less likelihood of mental and physical diseases because you are doing more healthy and loving things for your mind, body and spirit.

* You are more authentic and loving in your relationships with others because you have no expectation for somebody outside yourself to make you happy or to show you love.

Here are a few ways that I have thought of in how we can start to learn to love ourselves more;

1. Listen to your heart and start saying yes to the answer that comes up from within. Start to live your life based on your own approval, acceptance and praise.

2. Be gentle and kind to yourself and believe and know that you are doing the best you can in your current situation.

3. Spend quality time with yourself everyday – even for 1 hour. Do something you enjoy doing which could be playing music, singing, painting, drumming, writing, yoga, etc.

4. Start valuing your gifts and abilities and believe that you have something meaningful to contribute.

5. Stop comparing your life, your circumstances and yourself with people around. You never know what another person’s journey is.

6. Ask yourself – what makes me happy? What do I really want from life?

7. Treat yourself to something nice on a regular basis. This could be a massage, meal, doing something you love, etc.

As always I would love to hear any feedback, words of wisdom, comments you may have.

Namaste.

TW

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