5 Essential Ingredients For A Great Loving Relationship

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We all want to have great relationships especially with that special person however often times we seem to be unable to create this in our lives. In the world that we live in, we usually learn how to have relationships from those people around us usually from our parents who often times may not be exactly the perfect role models for a healthy and loving relationship.

In every relationship, there are 3 relationships happening. There is the relationship you have with yourself, the relationship your partner has with themselves and the relationship you have together. If any of these relationships is not healthy and loving, it usually effects the other relationships.

In any relationship, the following ingredients are essential in creating, maintaining and growing a healthy and loving relationship;

1. Trust

Trust always begins with yourself. You can only ever trust somebody as much as you trust yourself. If you don’t trust yourself, it is very hard to trust another.

It is usually our fear rooted beliefs which prevents us from trusting the other person completely. These can be fears of rejection, fears of disapproval, fears of being alone or fears of not being loved by the other person. The less you love yourself, the less you have the ability to trust yourself and the person you love.

Trust essentially starts with yourself. You can start to trust yourself by loving yourself more. You can start to do this by listening to your feelings and trusting the voice within yourself and take action if you feel inspired to do it. When you trust yourself, you start to have more belief and faith in yourself. You let go of the doubts and the beliefs which stop you from trusting yourself and trusting others.

2. Authenticity

When we choose to be fully authentic in a relationship, we choose to be fully ourselves – the good and the bad! At times this can be easier said than done. To be authentic means to stop the people pleasing and approval seeking behaviour that we can have a tendency to engage with when we are in a relationship with somebody. Being authentic means to be true to who you are and to just be yourself. In my experience the more I have choosen to be authentic in a relationship, the more the person I am with has felt free to be authentic.

It is normally our fear that the other person will reject us or may not approve of or love us, which prevents us from being fully authentic in a relationship. At times we may not feel safe to be authentic because of the other person’s judgements or their expectations for us to be a certain way.

You can be authentic by connecting with how you are truly feeling and what you truly want. Then when you are connected with this, you can start communicating this to your partner. Maybe there is something that you don’t like in regards to what your partner is doing or saying. A good first step would be to communicate this to them.

3. Communication

Communication is essential in any relationship especially in relationship with your significant other. They say that we only communicate 7% by the words that we speak and the rest is by our body language and the tone of our voices. I think this is very true. It is so important to be clear and specific in our communication with our loved one otherwise they may interpret what we are saying as to meaning something completely different.

Lack of effective communication is usually caused by the beliefs or opinions we have of what is being communicated to us. We may assume a certain thing by what a person is saying and this may not be the truth of what they are saying. For example if your partner does not want to meet you it could be for a variety of reasons and may not be the beliefs you have in your head. If there are times that we are not present when something is being communicated to us, it is easy not to fully listen to what the other person is saying. If we are emotional, it can also cloud our interpretation of what the person is saying.

In communicating effectively, it is very important to be clear and specific in regards to what you are communicating. Try to let go of any judgements or assumptions you may have in regards to what the person is saying. When you are listening to what is being communicated, it is good practice to be as present and open to the person as possible.

4. Self-care

At times when we are in a relationship we can forget about caring for ourselves. We can focus on the other person and forget about our own needs and wants. Choosing to care for ourselves can mean different things for different people. Essentially it means loving ourselves. It means taking time out for yourself, treating yourself to something nice, knowing your boundaries in a relationship or learning to say no and yes when it feels right.

If you don’t choose to care for yourself in a relationship it can lead to an imbalance. Lots of times the relationship can become a co-dependent relationship because you can have an expectation or need from the other person to care for you and your happiness can become dependent on them. This dynamic can often lead to fights or disagreements.

You can start caring for yourself in a relationship by knowing your boundaries and limitations, by communicating in an authentic way in regards your wants and needs and ultimately taking responsibility for your happiness.

5. Appreciation

Often times we can find it easier to criticize and find fault with the person we are in a relationship with rather than give them praise and show them appreciation. When we focus on the good behaviour of a person, we unconscious reinforce this behaviour. The opposite is true as well in that when we focus on the bad behaviour or the so called bad things that a person does, we reinforce this behaviour, because we are giving attention to it.

You can learn to appreciate the person you are with by saying thanks for the simple little things that they do for you on a daily basis. You could also do this by buying something unexpected for them to show that you appreciate them. You could also make a list of all the great qualities/characteristics that your partner has and tell them about them. They can also do this for you too :)

As always I would love to hear any feedback, comments or words of wisdom you may have.

Namaste.

TW

Are Your Thoughts Controlling Your Life?

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In every second of every minute, we all experience thousands of thoughts in our mind. These thoughts can be positive. They can be negative. They can be wanted or unwanted. They can serve us or they can dis serve us. They can make us happy or unhappy. Ultimately the thoughts we are thinking can create our reality.

Many of us are unaware or unconscious of these thoughts that we are experiencing on a daily basis. Usually we are so busy with our lives, that we don’t have time to think and reflect about what is really going on in this mind of ours. We are bombarded by television, the internet, magazines, newspapers, the radio etc. in what to think. Our educational system as a whole teaches people WHAT to think however it fails in the greatest necessity in teaching people in HOW to think. If we have the power, the ability and the skill to change our thoughts, we can have mastery over ourselves, our lives and ultimately our destiny.

I can see in my life how certain circumstances have changed when I choose to change my thoughts about the situation. Sometimes it wasn’t easy however when I choose to do so, it brought me to a more brighter, more positive and empowered place which served me and those around me. At times in this life we can be given a set of events or circumstances in which we may not like or which we may not have any control over. This could be losing our job, becoming sick, a relationship ending etc. At the time we may feel we have no control over what is happening and experience despair and frustration. However if we choose to become aware, we can see that we have a choice in how to think about our situation.

In many of the self-help books today, they advise us that if you just start thinking positively that we will become more positive. However at times it is easier said than done. If for example you are in a place in your life, where you are experiencing more negative thoughts than positive ones, it may not be so easy to follow this advice. If we don’t learn how to change and control our thoughts, these thoughts can lead us in a direction in our lives that we may and may not want. These thoughts can create sickness or wellness, grow or destroy our relationships, effect our financial wellbeing, make us feel spiritually connected or disconnected and can have a positive or negative impact on our happiness and peace of mind.

In the times that we live in, it is of great necessity to have the skill to be able to control and change our thoughts.

Here are a few guidelines I have found useful as ways to control and change my thoughts;

* Become an observer or a watcher of your thoughts – step back from the dialogue going on in your mind, don’t judge the thoughts – just accept them.

* Don’t identify with the thoughts that you are experiencing – say I am not these thoughts, these thoughts are not me.

* Ask yourself – Do I want what I am thinking today to become my reality tomorrow? 

* Ask yourself – Is this thought really true?

* Practice breathing exercises, meditation and yoga postures which can help to slow down your mind and bring you back to the here and now.

As always I would love to hear any feedback, comments or words of wisdom you may have? Namaste,

TW

How To Master Your Stress The Yogic Way

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In the times that we live in, the majority of us experience some level of stress in our daily lives. We may experience this stress because of the many challenges that we have to face with work, relationships, finance, our environment etc. It seems that life on this planet has become much more stressful for people now that what it was 50 or 60 years ago.

As some of you may know, I came to India over 5 months ago and I am still here. As part of this journey, I am currently completing a Yoga Teaching course. I am learning a lot about stress and how this can be reduced and even eliminated by applying the principles of yoga.

Many people buy into the illusion that it is their external situation which is creating the stress in their lives. It is the internal reality in how they choose to interpret the situation they are in, which is creating the stress for them. In the times that we live in, information, business and life has become a never ending race against time, technology and targets. This rat race creates tension in our lives and leads to dissatisfaction and frustration. Eventually this can manifest itself as psychological and physiological stress, leaving us mentally and emotionally drained.

Emotional and mental stresses can greatly upset our own physiological balance as a person. I know in my own life that I have experienced a few stressful situations and they have affected me on all levels – body, mind and spirit.

There are many health complications which can be as a result of stress such as;

* Diabetes
* Hyperacidity
* Migraine
* Arthritis
* Stomach Ulcers
* Allergies
* Thyrotoxicosis
* Auto-immune disorder
* Depression
* Anxiety
* Panic attacks
* Dermatitis

Unfortunately in the times we live in, many people turn to medication and sedatives from the pharmaceutical industry as a way to combat the stress. These tablets only sedate the pain centers and block sensations in our bodies. The stress and tension is not released and it will eventually lead to damaging of our health system.

From my own learnings here on this yoga course, stress according to yoga is an imbalance. In yoga philosophy, it says that all stress begins in the mind. At the mental and physical levels, it is regarded as excessive speed and so a stressful situation which causes pain, can lead to ailments and diseases.

In yoga, a holistic approach to the person is used. It is regarded that it is not enough to just work at the physical level alone to reduce stress. In yoga it is necessary to bring balance to all levels such as our mind, our life energy (prana) , our soul/spirit and our bliss layer.

Yoga can be very effective in reducing and minimizing stress. Many times the stress that we accumulate at the body level can result in stiffness in our joints and spasms of our muscles. These can be released by practicing yoga postures to calm the body down. Rhythmic breathing and breathing slowly can help us to bring a balance to our life energy. We can also gain mastery over our mental processes and eliminate imbalances in our mind by applying awareness and relaxation when doing yoga.

In my own experience of yoga in the last 2 weeks, I have experienced profound states of peace, tranquility, harmony and happiness. I would highly recommend yoga to anybody who wishes to reduce or eliminate stress in their lives.

As always I would love to hear any feedback, comments or words of wisdom you may have.

Namaste,

~ TW

The Key To Mastering Your Emotions

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From minute to minute, from hour to hour and day to day, we all can experience a wide range of emotions. These can be anger, sadness, greed, anxiety, depression to happiness and peace. These emotions can help us to live a happy and fulfilled life or they can prevent us from doing so and lead us to destructing our lives.

Our emotions are an internal response that we feel in regards to a person, an event, a thing or a place. These emotions can be triggered from previous experiences that we have had in the past. For example if somebody close to you hurt you in the past when they criticized you then if you are criticized in the here and now, it can activate that hurt. Our emotions are created from the beliefs we hold in regards to a situation or a thing.

Many of us can be caught in the loop of experiencing the same emotions time and time again without ever changing them to something more positive and empowering. It is usually our identification with them which prevents us from changing them. For example if we say I am angry or I am depressed we become identified and attached to the emotion. We can also be experiencing this emotion because it is serving us in some way. For example if you are depressed this emotion maybe serving you in that you don’t have to take responsibility for your life and you may gain attention from other people because you are this way. It is usually our beliefs in regards to what we are experiencing which can prevent us from changing as well. If we respond with resistance to the emotions we are experiencing and judge them that they are good or bad, or right or wrong, it can keep us stuck in the emotion.

If we continue with the same habitual emotional responses without any awareness or consciousness, it can prevent us from moving forward in our lives and living a more fulfilled and happier life. If these emotions are negative, it can keep us in a place of suffering and misery without moving out of it. At times we can even create sickness and disease in our bodies because of continuous unhealthy emotions. For example if a person experiences prolonged periods of stress, this can reduce their immune system and they can be more likely to get a sickness or a disease.

When you have the awareness and the skill to be able to change your emotions to more positive ones, you usually feel freer, more empowered and have more energy in yourself. You will be able to make more informed choices because you will have greater clarity in your life and you will not be making decisions based on negative or unhealthy emotions. When you experience more positive emotions in your life, you will attract more positive people, circumstances and events.

Here are a few ways that I have thought of so that we can change our emotions to more positive ones;

* Become an observer / witness of the emotion you are experiencing. Don’t identify with it – say this emotion I am experiencing is not me – I am not this – detach yourself from the emotion and just look at it.

* Ask yourself how is it serving me to experience this emotion?

* Look at the beliefs that you have which are creating this emotion. Ask yourself – are these beliefs really true?

* Meditate and try to feel the emotion for what it is. What is the real emotion behind this emotion?

As always I would love to hear any feedback, comments or words of wisdom you may have.

Namaste

~ TW

How To Laugh Your Way To Health And Happiness

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In our busy and stressful lives today, many of us have forgotten how to laugh and have fun. We can become consumed by the many things we have to do and we can end up taking ourselves and our lives too seriously. We all have worries, concerns and stresses however if we allow these things to control our lives we can potentially result in being unhappy and lack a sense of joy and peace within.

As you know I have been travelling India for the last few months and I have just recently completed a Laughter Yoga Teacher training. Initially I was a little sceptical of the benefits of this intriguing and funny yoga practice however having completed the training, I am convinced of its many benefits.

Laughter Yoga is essentially a practice where anyone can laugh for no reason without using humor, jokes or comedy. Laughter is practiced in a group with eye contact and childlike playfulness as well as combining laughter exercises with yoga breathing. The concept of Laughter Yoga is based on scientific evidence that the body cannot differentiate between fake and real laughter, if done with willingness.

A lot of the Laughter Yoga training I experienced involved many funny and creative ways to laugh. At times I felt resistance to practicing some of these ridiculous exercises however when I fully embraced them and just went with them, I felt a deep sense of joy and peace within. A lot of the training involved dancing, singing, playing, laughing and yoga exercises. It felt great to have the opportunity to engage with the childlike and playful part of myself with others.

Here a few ways that Laughter Yoga could benefit your life;

1. Improves Your Mood
Laughter can change your mood within minutes as it releases feel good hormones into your brain.

2. Benefits Your Health
Laughter Yoga has been proven to reduce stress and strengthen peoples’ immune systems.

3. Gives You Strength in Adversity
Anyone can laugh when times are good however Laughter Yoga teaches people to laugh unconditionally so that they can laugh even when times are hard. It helps you to maintain a positive mental attitude regardless of your circumstances.

4. Enhances Your Creativity
The playfulness of Laughter Yoga frees right brain thinking, the basis of all creativity. When we are creative we can think of new ideas and solutions about our current situation.

5. Improves Your Social Connection and Communication Skills
Laughter Yoga is a great connector of people and builds team spirit.

You could bring more laughter into your life by;

1. Joining A Laughter Club
There are thousands of Laughter Clubs that you can attend on a weekly or a daily basis in over 70 countries in the world. It is much easier to laugh with others rather than by yourself.

2. Look for ways to be silly
This could involve dressing up, singing or creating a funny song or just doing a silly dance :)

3. Ask yourself
What is keeping me from laughing freely in my life? What is holding me back from truly being happy?

4. Reframe your situation
If you are not happy in the situation you are currently in, maybe look at ways that you could change your view of it and just laugh about it. It may not change it, but it will make you feel better about it.

5. Don’t take yourself too seriously.
I heard a quote recently which said;

“Don’t take yourself too seriously because nobody else does”.

I think this is very true :)

As always I would love to hear any feedback, comments or words of wisdom you may have.

Namaste.

TW

7 Ways How To Start Loving Yourself

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In the times that we live in, it can be hard to take the time to love ourselves with our busy schedules and or hectic lives. We can spend our lives trying to prove ourselves to those around us and end up never taking the time to really love ourselves. A lot of the media has conditioned us into believing that if we have these so called external things then we will be loved and feel loved.

It is usually our lack of trust and belief in ourselves which can prevent us from loving ourselves. Feelings such as I am not good enough and that I don’t deserve can be a part of the conditioning that we feel that it is wrong to love ourselves. When we judge or compare ourselves to other people in society, it can be barrier to us loving ourselves. Many of us live with the need to receive external validation, approval and acceptance from other people and never really giving it to ourselves.

When we are not loving ourselves, we usually don’t feel happy with ourselves. We have a tendency to not trust and believe in ourselves and the unique talents and gifts we have to offer the world. We also can be looking for approval, validation, acceptance and praise from other people. Often times when we are not loving ourselves we tend to not feel a sense of joy, peace and contentment in our lives. We can also believe that somebody like our soul mate is going make us happy and complete our lives however we need to be able to create this for ourselves.

When we are loving ourselves, we usually love and accept ourselves. We find it easy to just be ourselves and not try to be anything that we are not. We find that we treat ourselves kindly, gently and with the respect and dignity that we deserve. When we are loving ourselves, we tend to listen to ourselves and trust the answer that comes. We find it easy to say Yes to what we want and No to what we don’t want. When we are in this place, we seem to be living our lives based on our own approval, acceptance and validation. We find it easy to trust and believe in who we are and have the courage and faith to go for what we want regardless of what other people’s opinions are.

There are many benefits in choosing to love yourself such as;

* Being able to have a feeling of happiness and a sense of joy within.

* Having a more relaxed and carefree life because you are not trying to be anybody that you are not.

* Feeling that you are good enough exactly as you are and you are living your life based on your own approval, acceptance, praise and validation.

* Having less likelihood of mental and physical diseases because you are doing more healthy and loving things for your mind, body and spirit.

* You are more authentic and loving in your relationships with others because you have no expectation for somebody outside yourself to make you happy or to show you love.

Here are a few ways that I have thought of in how we can start to learn to love ourselves more;

1. Listen to your heart and start saying yes to the answer that comes up from within. Start to live your life based on your own approval, acceptance and praise.

2. Be gentle and kind to yourself and believe and know that you are doing the best you can in your current situation.

3. Spend quality time with yourself everyday – even for 1 hour. Do something you enjoy doing which could be playing music, singing, painting, drumming, writing, yoga, etc.

4. Start valuing your gifts and abilities and believe that you have something meaningful to contribute.

5. Stop comparing your life, your circumstances and yourself with people around. You never know what another person’s journey is.

6. Ask yourself – what makes me happy? What do I really want from life?

7. Treat yourself to something nice on a regular basis. This could be a massage, meal, doing something you love, etc.

As always I would love to hear any feedback, words of wisdom, comments you may have.

Namaste.

TW

What Is Your Measure Of Success?

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Often times our definition of so called success is unconsciously defined and created for us by the media, our friends, our families, society and the environment that we live in. There can be certain expectations on each one of us to have achieved certain things in our lives in order to be considered successful. These things can be to have a wife/husband, a good job with a certain status, a house in a particular area, a certain type of car, a particular amount of income etc. In our current society our level of success is often measured by how we appear on the outside rather than how we feel on the inside.

Our measure of success or what we consider to be a success in life is taught to us from an early age. Much of the conditioning we receive when growing up with those around us, can create the beliefs and the framework for our standards of success in our lives. Sometimes these so called standards/expectations can be unrealistic and we can end up in a place of feeling unhappy and dissatisfied with our lives and ourselves.

When we choose to measure our level of success with other people, it can stop us from feeling the happiness, the joy and the satisfaction we experience from achieving something in our lives. For example if we look at Facebook and see people living a more so called ‘successful life’ than ourselves, it can be a recipe for unhappiness. The only person who is stopping us from feeling successful right now is ourselves. If we choose not to feel good for where we are right now in our current circumstances, whatever they maybe, we are making it harder for ourselves to feel successful and to feel happy. If we choose not to listen and trust our hearts, it will nearly be impossible to feel successful because we are not being true to ourselves.

In the world that we live in, if we choose to adopt and use somebody else’s measure of success, we are more than likely going to be unhappy. We will never feel fully satisfied and contented in our lives. A lot of the stress and pressure in our lives can be a result of having an unrealistic measure of success for ourselves. We may feel they we are never really living for ourselves but living for the approval, acceptance and praise of other people.

When we choose to have our own measure of success, we feel they we are being true to ourselves. We feel that we are living for ourselves and that we are creating our lives based on our own approval, acceptance and praise. We feel happiness and joy in our lives because we are following our heart’a desire. We feel more contented and peaceful in our lives.

Here are a few ways that I have come up with in regards to how we can create our own measure of success;

* Create your goals so that they are in alignment with your own values.

* Have realistic and achievable goals which feel good and true for you.

* Ask yourself what does it mean for me to be successful in my life?

* Become aware of your current measure of success and see if this really feels true for you.

* Say to yourself that the greatest measure of success is your own joy and happiness.

As always I would love to hear any feedback, words of wisdom or comments you may have.

Namaste.

TW

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Is Your Smart Phone Your Slave Or Your Master?

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I haven’t wrote a blog post for a while however I got the inspiration to write one a few days ago. Since the the availability of smart phones in recent years, it seems that they have become an integrated part of our lives. Many people now days seem to have a mobile phone or a smart phone of some kind. At times we may wonder how we ever lived without a smart phone? Since being in India, I have become aware while traveling on public transport such as buses and trains here, that people seem to have a less of a preoccupation with smart phones as opposed to us in the west. The people here seem to come across as being more engaged and more communicative with each other on buses and trains. They talk to each other more openly and there is a sense of community or spirit on these transport systems which I haven’t experienced in the west. In this day and age, it is always good to feel connected and have the opportunity to communicate with other people when we want to. However at times it can feel that our smartphone is ruling our lives. If you are engaging or have done any of the following, there is a high probability they your smart phone could be your master; * Constantly checking your iphone or other smart phone device for emails, Whatsapps, Viber messages, Facebook news feed etc. * Looking at your phone first thing in the morning or last thing at night. * Feeling naked or that something is missing if you left your phone at home one day by mistake. * Spending hours in a coffee shop or some other establishment that has wifi and losing complete track of time and of reality. * Having a panic attack if your phone has 20% battery or less and it is now late afternoon. * If you have been on a bus, train or plane and you haven’t chatted with the person next to you because of your preoccupation with your smart phone. There are positives in having a smart phone such as; * You can get information or news instantly in regards to what is happening in the world. * You can contact people instantly if there is an emergency of some kind. * You can make bank account transactions online to pay bills etc. * You can learn new things with various apps such as learning the guitar, a new language …. * You can chat to friends and family from all over the world with the simple click of a button. However there are certain drawbacks in regards to having a smart phone too such as; * You are contactable 24/7. * You may find it hard to switch off and relax. * You can waste lots of time in your life that you could be doing other more worthwhile things such as learning something new. For example if you spend 2 hours per day on average on your smart phone this would equate to approximately 91 eight hour days! * You can lose your communication and interaction skills with other people and even isolate yourself from life. * You can also lose your need or desire to interact or socialise with other people. Here are a couple of ways that I have come up with, that could help you to make your phone your slave rather than your master.. * Switch the phone on silent when you are with other people. * Discipline yourself in regards to the times when you choose to respond to emails, texts, other messages etc. * Place your phone in a different room to where you are sleeping and switch it off. * When on a mode of public transport, look for other creative ways to occupy your time such as chatting with the person next to you or maybe just relaxing and enjoying the moment. * Keep track of how much time you are on your smart phone everyday and be honest with yourself in regards if you used your time wisely. * Have the courage to delete any apps that you believe are wasting a lot of your time. * Limit your smart phone usage to a certain amount of time per day, for example 1 hour per day. As always I would love to hear any feedback, comments or words of wisdom you may have. Namaste. TW

5 Top Secrets To Happiness

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The Truth Warrior

I think the majority of us in this world want to be happy, whether we know it or not. At times it can be easier said than done with all that life brings us and we can forget how to just be simply happy. They say the goal behind every goal is happiness. I would agree with that. When we choose to be happy, our life just flows and that happiness can have a positive affect on everybody that we meet. When we are not happy however, that affects everybody too.

I think Esther Hicks from her book “Ask and it is given” has a great quote about happiness;

“The greatest gift that you could ever give to another is your own happiness, for when you are in a state of joy, happiness, or appreciation, you are fully connected to the Stream of pure, positive Source Energy that is truly who you are. And when you are in that state of connection, anything or anyone that you are holding as your object of attention benefits from your attention.”

From my own experience, here are some ways I have found useful in helping me to achieve happiness in my life;

Stop Comparing

Many of us can compare ourselves, our lives, our possessions, our jobs, our money etc. to other people around us. We can compare ourselves to what is being portrayed on the media as the perfect life and feel that we are not good enough as a result. We may even compare where our lives are now to where we were.

When somebody has a so called better house, car, job it doesn’t mean that they are more happier. Some of the happiest people I have met are people who have very little. Happiness doesn’t come from the outer things as we are brainwashed to believe, it is an inside job.

When we compare ourselves to something or somebody outside ourselves, we are essentially not loving or accepting ourselves. We can never know what another person’s journey is. The first step is to start to love and accept yourself exactly as you are and where you are.

Be present

If we are living our lives in the past or in the future, it is practically impossible to be in the here and now, where all happiness exists. When we choose to be present, we allow ourselves to be happy. We all have things that we regret and that we would like to change about the past. There are certain things or ways that we would like our future life to be, however the only moment we ever have is now.

We can live our lives attached the story of our past however it is our choice if we really want to be happy now and choose to let go of the past. It’s important to plan for the future but still be present on what you are engaging with right now, knowing that it is moving you in the direction of where you want to be.

The key in my experience to being present is to become aware of when I am not present. Also engaging in activities that I enjoy has also helped me to become more present.

Let go of expectations

If we have expectations of people, jobs, places etc. to be a certain way for us to be happy then we are allowing our happiness to be dependent on something outside of ourselves. We are attached to something for our happiness.

I can see in my own life that at times I allowed my happiness to be determined by how successful I was in my job, if I had great relationship with somebody I love etc. Sometimes when I was not successful in these areas, I experienced unhappiness.

What I have found helpful was to go for what I want, do the best I can and let go of the expectation for the result to be a certain way. I am in India at the moment and before I came I decided to let go of any expectations of India to be a certain way. I have found this approach very useful in having a happier experience here.

Be true to yourself

A quote I heard a while ago is;

” To be yourself in a world that is trying night and day to make you like everybody else, is probably the greatest battle there is to fight”

At times it can be hard for us to be ourselves and we need great courage and strength to be true to ourselves.

In my experience when I wasn’t true to myself, I have found that I experienced unhappiness in myself. In my last job I felt that I wasn’t been true to myself and that I was compromising my happiness because of a wage check at the end of the week.

As I mentioned earlier I am currently in India. It has been a long time dream of mine to travel India and embrace the culture here. I really do feel that I am being true to myself while I am traveling India at the moment.

To be true to yourself, live life based on your own approval and acceptance. Learn to listen and trust your heart and just go for what you want. Ask yourself what makes my heart sing?

Be Grateful

When we are in the mode of blaming and complaining we are not in a place of gratitude. We are essentially focusing on the negative and usually creating more of that in our lives.

Having being in India for a little under a week, I see people who could have a real reason to complain. There is a significant amount people who are actually sleeping on the streets here, sometimes it can be whole families. Other times I have seen people who have no legs or arms and are homeless on the street here as well. India is teaching me that I have so much to be grateful for.

Being grateful for where we are right now is definately a key to happiness. We have so much to be grateful for such as our health, our job, our house, our family, our friends etc. Being grateful is not just about saying it but it is about really feeling and believing it.

Well as always I would love to hear any feedback, comments or words of
wisdom you may have…

Namaste.

TW

Do You Have The Courage To Forgive?

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The Truth Warrior

I think many of us already know of the power of forgiveness however how many of us really practice it in our daily lives? Many times we choose to hang on to the hurt, the anger, the guilt and the pain rather than let it go and forgive the person who has wronged us. I know that it can be easier said than done however when we choose to forgive, we are doing it for ourselves.

If for example somebody wrongs us in some way and we choose to hold anger and hatred towards that person, we are really the ones who are suffering and hurting in the situation. This anger and resentment that we feel has been known to turn into disease in certain people’s lives. I know in my experience that when I had anger towards a person, I thought in my own head that I was hurting that person by feeling this way. The reality was that I was only hurting myself.

In my own experience the person I have found hardest to forgive has been myself. I can see in my life that when I failed in certain areas in my life such as relationships, jobs etc. that I was angry with myself for not succeeding and I found it hard to show myself forgiveness and compassion. I can see in hindsight that by treating myself this way, I was doing myself no favours in moving on and letting go.

Often times we don’t choose to forgive the person or people because we believe in some way that we are justified. We believe that we are right to feel this anger or hatred towards this person or people because of what they have done. Usually we are coming from the ego and we don’t fully see the truth of the situation we are in. We may say ” how dare that this person do this to me” or “they have no right to treat me this way” . When we choose not to forgive somebody, usually it is because it is serving us in someway to stay in this place of non-forgiveness.

When we learn or choose to forgive somebody or some people, we are ultimately choosing to let go of what the person has said and done and choosing not to allow your peace and happiness be affected. It is very easy to love somebody when they are nice to us or treat us well however it takes a more evolved person to choose to have compassion and love for somebody when they are not this way. As a result of practicing forgiveness, we will have more love and compassion for ourselves and those around us. We will have greater peace of mind and happiness also.

Here are a few ways in how we can forgive somebody…

* Write out 100 times “I fully and freely forgive “name of the person” for “whatever wrong they did to you” and then for the following 6 days write out 100 times “I fully and freely forgive (name of the person) “

* How is it serving me to feel this anger, hatred or resentment towards this person?

* What is stopping me from choosing peace and happiness now?

* If I had a choice in this situation, would I prefer to be right or be happy?

* What would love do now?

* Write a letter to the person who hurt you outlining to them what they did and that you are now choosing to forgive them for what they did. (Don’t post or email the letter)

As always I would love to hear your words of wisdom, feedback or any comments you may have…

Namaste,

TW

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