Is Your Happiness Dependent On You Getting What You Want?

Tags

authenticity, happiness, inspiration, philosophy, psychology, spirituality, Truth

How many of us become unhappy because we don’t get what we want? We may want a relationship, more money, a new career, live in a different place or just change our life completely. I can see in my life that at times I can be unhappy because I don’t get what I want.

I am aware that when I am unhappy when I don’t get what I want, I am believing that I need this thing in my life to be happy. The truth is that it is an illusion in my mind that something outside of myself will make me happy. We have been conditioned by society, the media and those around us that we need all these so called “things” to be happy.

We have become dependant on these things outside of ourselves to make us happy. The mind is in a place of craving this outside pleasure which we are believing is happiness which a lot of the time is not true happiness. A lot of times we can become motivated from a place of unhappiness as a way to get the things that we want. However when we choose to come from a place of unhappiness in going for what we want, we will rarely end up in a place which is true happiness.

They say that the goal behind every goal is happiness. How powerful would it be if we decided to choose to be happy now regardless of what our situation is and still take action towards what we need in our lives.

We can invite the possibility of our happiness not becoming dependent on something outside of ourselves by;

*  Choosing to let of the outcome when we take action.

*  Being grateful for where we are right now for all our blessings.

*  Believing that happiness is a choice.

*  Becoming aware that happiness lies within and not in something outside of ourselves.

*  Making happiness your number 1 priority.

*  Not identifying with whatever our external reality is.

As always I welcome any feedback, comments or words of wisdom or inspiration.

Namaste,

~ TW

The Art Of Letting Go

Tags

Acceptance, Depression, Health, inspiration, peace, philosophy, psychology, spirituality

 

As many of you know I made a few changes to my life these last few weeks. I moved to a new location and I started a new training course. The last few weeks have been an interesting journey with moments of excitement, adventure, anxiety, depression, confusion, frustration and joy.

What has been coming up for me has been my own inability to fully let go and trust where I am. The ego/mind part of me seems to have a funny way of judging where I am and comparing my current situation to my previous life, when I had more financial stability and superficial success. It also creates fantasies about the future about what might and might not happen. It seems to thrive on my anxiety about uncertainty. Even though I am living in a beautiful place in the country, near the sea and I am really grateful to be here and have this experience, at times my ego has a tendency to sabotage my peace and happiness by judging what I am doing.

I am becoming aware that what stops me from fully letting go is the fear that things will not work out and that this moment is not good enough. I can see my ego wants these so-called external things outside of myself to validate its existence. They can be things such as a job, money, popularity, acknowledgement etc. I have found even though it is nice to have these things in my life, at times they have taken me away from who I truly am and who I truly want to be.

My intentions for coming down to this beautiful place are to connect with myself, connect with nature and connect with my creativity. At times I have distracted myself from engaging in these things by investing my time in less meaningful activities such as the course, the internet and TV.

I can see that there is tremendous benefit in choosing to let go of fear, judgement, expectations and pressure. When we choose this, we have the opportunity to be present and in turn we are happier and more peaceful. We have more energy and vitality for life because we are no longer resisting this moment but embracing it for what it is. When we are present, we are in a better place to think clearly and make more informed decisions.

We can learn to let go by;

*  Choosing to be present.

*  Becoming aware of the fantasy in our heads in regards to the past and the future.

*  Just breathe and say I am where I am.

*  Trusting that the only moment is now.

*  Accepting where we are at.

*  Getting up and dancing to a rhythm of letting go with your body like 5Rhythms.

*  Saying – “ I am willing to let go”.

*  Practicing yoga postures which are great for getting into the heart and the body.

*Practice giving yourself a hug like you would give to a dear friend or a lover.

As always I would love to hear any feedback, comments or inspirations you may have.

Namaste.

~ TW

Are You Dying To Live Or Are You Living To Die?

Tags

authenticity, happiness, inspiration, love, peace, philosophy, psychology

Are you living your life full of excitement, enthusiasm and energy and really making the most of every single moment your have?

Are you just putting in the hours and going through the motions in your life with a feeling of boredom and lack of enthusiasm for your life?

Many people, myself included can be caught in the loop of just going through the motions in our lives, coming to a place that this is just it and this is my lot in life and that we just need to get on with it. We can get caught in the trap of being in a rut and never really thinking outside the box that we could be doing much more with our lives, living more passionately and more fully.

Some of the reason of why we are not living our lives more passionately, is because of the beliefs we have taken on and started believing to be true as a result of our families, friends, education, work, our country and our society. Some of these beliefs may include “we need to do this” and “ we should do that” and that “ we have to do this”.

I can see in my own life, that these limiting beliefs have blocked my creative voice and my own sense of aliveness in myself. I am currently going through a process with The Artist Way, which is a 12 step/week guide to unblock and release my creativity. I am now on week 5 and I can see a change in myself and my creative expression. The Artist Way process is helping me to uncover and become aware of beliefs that I have which may not be serving me. I feel that I am moving in the right direction even though at times I feel unsure and doubtful of what the future beholds.

When we are connected to what we really want and we are moving in the direction of achieving and getting it, I believe we move into a place of enthusiasm, excitement and energy in our lives. We can feel it all over our body, that this is what we really want and we feel driven and motivated to go and get it. We believe without any doubt, that we can be this or achieve this.

A part of The Artist Way process has been to choose imaginary lives that you would like to live . My top 5 were, in no order of importance were; An actor, Singer, Talk show host, Motivational Speaker and a Writer. I can see that a part of me has regarded these lives as being foolish and not sensible and that I need to go and get a proper job. I would  love to create the possibility of creating more parts of these lives in my life.

When we choose to live a life of really going for what we want, we receive the benefits of being more happy, energetic, enthusiastic and alive about our lives. We have more to give because we are giving to ourselves and following our hearts desire. We act as an inspiration to others because they see how we are being.

I have come up with a few thoughts in how we can connect and move towards what we want;

*  Brainstorm ideas about things you would like to create more of in your life.

*  Take one small step towards what you want in every day of your life – in one year you will have taken 365 steps.

*  Create a collage of pictures of your career/idea or goal.

*  Believe that it can happen – if others can do it, so can you.

*  Talk to people who have done it and ask them how they did it.

*  Ask yourself why you want this – the more reasons you have the better.

*  Trust any inspired actions you may have and just act on them.

*  Become aware of any negative beliefs that may not be serving you and ask yourself – “Is this belief true?” and “what is the evidence of it not being true?”

*  Change your beliefs to more empowering ones by creating evidence of the new belief you want to create. Think of people of who are acting from the belief that you want.

*  Visualise yourself in the place you would like to be.

We are only given one life and there are no second chances. It is up to everyone of us to find a way to live our lives in a passionate and enthusiastic way.

As always I would love to hear any feedback, comments or words of wisdom you may have.

Namaste.

~ TW

Following And Trusting My Heart

Tags

Career, happiness, inspiration, philosophy, psychology, spirituality, Truth

As I mentioned previously, I am at a crossroads in my life right now in regards to where to go and what to do with my life.

I have been doing the morning pages religiously every morning when I wake up and also some form of meditation as a way to connect with my true self. At times it is both exciting and scary to really listen and see myself in the morning pages.

As a result of doing these morning pages for the last 5 weeks, I have been experiencing a lot of changes externally and internally. Change for me has been both exciting and scary. I wish to stay grounded and centered in these changes.

Some of these changes have been joining a choir, playing the guitar, joining a running group and joining a writing group. I am feeling that I want to explore and express myself more creatively. I can see in my own life that I have blocked myself from using my creative talents because of various life commitments such as work, friends, family and other things.

As a part of this change, I have been feeling in my heart to move closer to the country and nearer to the sea and to move away from the busyness of the city life where I am currently living. An opportunity has arisen whereby I can rent a house in a small village in the country and I have decided to go for it and give it 6 months and see what happens. As a part of the move I have enrolled in a training course which is a significant career change for me. The training course is in the social care area. I am both excited and apprehensive about the situation as I have never lived alone before in my life.

I feel that this move is moving me towards what I want even though I am not fully clear on what that is right now

In moving to the country, I have come up with some intentions that I would like to embrace in moving there;

*  To love, accept and approve of myself for where I am at.

*  To be kind and gentle with myself.

*  To stay open and loving.

*  To trust any inner inspirations I may receive.

*  To explore and develop the creative side of myself by doing the artist way every week and taking action.

*  To trust the process and let go of any outcome or any expectations.

*  To be present to where I am.

*  To listen to my heart and trust it.

*  To have fun and enjoy myself.

*  To say YES to what I want.

*  To stay connected to myself.

*  To stay grounded and centered in whatever happens.

*  To eat healthy and nutritious food.

*  To be grateful for where I am right now and the opportunity it presents.

As always I would love to hear any feedback, comments or words of inspiration.

Namaste,

~ TW

Unleashing The Artist Within!

Tags

Anthony De Mello, Career, creativity, happiness, inspiration, philosophy, psychology

At the moment in my life, I am at a crossroads in regards to what to do with my career. As I mentioned previously, there is a certain amount of uncertainty to where I am and what direction to take. I really want to listen to my heart, that deeper part of me, to know what the next step is to take. At times it is hard to listen, as I can see that my mind is busy with thoughts about the past and the future.

As part of the exploration process, I am doing the morning pages, as a way to connect to who I am and to listen to my heart. The morning pages is a stream of consciousness that I write whereby I write 3 pages of whatever comes up for me in that moment. It has been an interesting process so far

We all have an artist within, however many of us, myself included have neglected that part of ourselves because of various commitments in our lives such as family, getting an education etc. We also have been conditioned by those around us and society that we need to do this, that we should do that and we have to do this. The truth is that we really don’t have to do anything we don’t want to do.

What would our lives be like if we choose to do what we wanted to do and really listen to that voice within?

I believe we would all be living much happier and peaceful lives. We would be feeling excited and enthusiastic about life. We would feel connected to ourselves and would be much more effective people in the world we live in. Life would feel easy because we are being true to ourselves because we are living from our core.

I have been doing the morning pages for a short while now. At times I have been resistant to doing them however I am determined to continue doing them. As a result of doing them, I have gone back to playing the guitar and singing. I hadn’t played or sang for a while before that. It feels really good to play and sing. In the future I would like to play in front of an audience some day.

In my experience, the morning pages are a tool to help you to listen to yourself. My own intention for doing them is that I would like the answer to come from within in regards to what direction to go in my life.

A quote that I really love by Anthony De Mello is -

“ A nice definition of enlightenment is no longer marching to the drum beat of society, but dancing to the music that springs up from within.”

As always I would love to hear any thought or feedback you may have.

Namaste.

~ TW

How To Be Happy About Uncertainty?

Tags

authenticity, Career, Health, inspiration, philosophy, psychology, spirituality

They say that there are only two guarantees in life; death and taxes. This is true. The truth is we never really know what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next year, however so many of us, myself included, look for certainties in our lives.

As John Allen Paulos said;  “Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.”

At the moment in my life, there is an amount of uncertainty in regards to the direction I want to go in my career. At times I feel anxious about it, however I would like to invite the possibility of being happy and excited about the uncertainty, instead of being fearful of the unknown. Fear can be limiting and blinding, where as excitement opens our eyes to the possibilities around us.

I have been involved in a career in sales, which I have been successful at. However, it no longer fulfils me at an emotional, spiritual or personal level. I feel that my time is complete in regards to this career, as it is not making a statement of who I am. I no longer feel it in my heart to pursue this career and I want to move in a direction, which is true to my values, interests, personality and skills.

I want to become clear on what I truly want and still be happy while I am on the journey of getting there.

Many of us experience fear when we don’t know what is going to happen next. I can see that this is the ego part within me that wants to know, however the soul part of me doesn’t really care. When we choose to be fully present in the here and now, we don’t need to know what is going to happen. We trust that the moment where we are now is perfect for what it is.

In my life now, I would like to invite the possibility of becoming clear on what I would like to create from a career perspective while at the same time being happy and peaceful about the uncertainty.

Here are a few thoughts I have come up with in how we can choose to be happy about uncertainty:

*   Choose to be in the present moment

*   Accept where we are right now

*   Believe that it is okay not to know

*   Say that I choose to love and accept myself exactly as I am and where I am

*   Have faith that from the unknown comes the knowing

*   Focus on what we can control in our lives

*   Know that everything is constantly changing

*   Say I choose to let go and allow the way to be shown to me

As always I would love to hear any feedback or comments you may have.

Namaste,

~ TW

The Power Of Acceptance

Tags

Acceptance, authenticity, happiness, philosophy, psychology, spirituality

They say the more we resist something, the more it persists! I believe this is true. When we choose to complain or blame a situation, place, person or thing, we are not truly accepting it for what it is. We are in effect allowing this “thing” outside ourselves to control how we feel.

Acceptance for me is being in a state of allowing and not resisting where I am now. At times in my life, this has been easier said than done. When things didn’t go the way that I would have liked them to go or the way I believed they should have, I would sometimes have the tendency to not accept the situation.

Many times it is our own belief or judgement about the situation or the person in that moment, which prevents us from accepting it. We may have beliefs such as “It shouldn’t be this way” “This is bad” or “This shouldn’t be happening to me now”. In my life when I was in a place that I didn’t want to be, I discovered that it was my beliefs about being in that place that were creating the disease and disharmony within me. For example at the moment I am looking for work, however at times I find it hard to accept that this is my reality. I can see that it is my beliefs around not having a job that are causing me not to accept the situation, rather than the act of looking for work itself .

When we choose not to accept a certain person for the way they are or a particular situation for what it is, we are essentially not allowing the space for change to happen. We are allowing it to control us, control how we feel and what we think. When we don’t accept something that happens to us, and we choose to be in a place of denying or resisting it, it becomes much harder for us to move on from it and create a change. When we choose to be in an unaccepting state of mind, we can waste our lives away in a place of self-pity, blaming and complaining and in effect never really moving on and taking complete responsibility for our lives.

There is an amazing power in accepting what is. I found when I was on the Camino de Santiago, I experienced a lot of acceptance of; who I am, the people who I met and the journey that I needed to take. From this state of acceptance I experienced peace within myself, a letting go and an acceptance that I am where I am. Accepting that I am doing the best I could in the situation. In accepting ourselves and our situation, no matter how bad it is, we can receive tremendous power and strength to move on and take proactive steps to change it, if we so choose.

When we choose to completely accept something, it does not mean we should settle for whatever happens to us. It is beneficial to be aware of the difference between settling for something and accepting one’s reality. In the first instance we allow things to simply happen to us, while in the latter we are taking responsibility for our actions and making the conscious decision to move on, make a change or simply be happy with what we have.

We can invite feeling acceptance into our lives by;

*   Becoming aware of when we are complaining and blaming people, things or situations.

*   Becoming aware of our beliefs which can be preventing us from accepting the situation.

*   Asking ourselves how it is serving us not to have acceptance in our current situation?

*   Focusing on and being grateful for all the many blessings we have in our lives.

*   Practicing letting go in the moment and saying whatever will be, will be.

As always I welcome any feedback or words of wisdom you may have.

Namaste.

~ TW

Are You Trying To Be Somebody You’re Not?

Tags

authenticity, camino de santiago, happiness, inspiration, philosophy, psychology, spirituality

Many of us, myself included, have been conditioned to not be truly ourselves from an early age. We have built up layers of masks to the outside world, never really revealing who we really are.

Wouldn’t it be an amazing world if we allowed ourselves the gift to be fully and truly ourselves?

We have been taught to deny how we truly feel and not say what we truly think. This people pleasing behaviour has prevented us from really been seen for who we truly are, warts and all. It also denies us the opportunity to fully love and accept ourselves in front of another, when we are revealing to them who we truly are.

I feel inspired to write about this because on my recent journey on the Camino de Santiago, I felt complete freedom and the opportunity to be fully myself. I feel I gave myself the permission to do it. However since I have returned to the so called ‘real’ world I have noticed that at times that I am trying to be somebody that I am not. I see myself not fully saying my truth or saying how I feel.  I would love to create the possibility of being myself all of the time

I see in my own life, what ultimately stops me from being myself, is fear. Fear of what other people think of me, fear that I maybe be judged, fear that I will not be loved, fear that I will be alone if I choose to be fully myself, fear that I may hurt people etc. I am aware that this so called ‘fear’ is an illusion. I cannot control what other people think of me, whether they love me or not, whether they judge me or not…..

At times we try to be somebody we are not because we are looking for other people’s approval, acceptance and appreciation when ultimately the only person who can give that to us, is ourselves.

Anthony De Mello says that

“In many ways we were drugged when we were young. We were brought up to need people. For what? For acceptance, approval, appreciation, applause—for what they called success.”

Anthony De Mello ~ Awarness

Also we may be afraid that if we reveal who we really are to the person or the people in front of us, that they will dislike and disapprove of us.

When we continue to be somebody we are not, we may experience unhappiness in our lives, never really giving ourselves the gift of really loving  and approving ourselves as we truly are. Ultimately we can experience a sense of dis-ease within ourselves because our external selves are not congruent or in line with our inner selves.

So how do we go about stop trying to be somebody we are not?

Well a few ways I have found useful are;

*  To just listen to ourselves and see what feels right for us.

*  Become aware of when we are on the people pleasing mode.

*  Write morning pages – stream of conscious.

*  Trust our inner inspirations.

*  Choose to love and approve of ourselves, exactly as we are.

*  Have the courage to express our true self, if it feels right to do so.

*  Say to ourselves that it really is okay to be who we are.

As always, I would love to hear any feedback or suggestions you may have.

Namaste,

~ TW

Reflections on the Camino

Tags

camino de santiago, happiness, Health, inspiration, philosophy, psychology, spirituality

I have not written on this blog for a while. I have been slightly distracted by life these last couple of months. I have just returned from my travels and it was truly an amazing experience.

I loved doing the Camino de Santiago. I had a deep sense of gratitude and had a real feeling of being totally alive when I was doing it. No two days were ever the same. You never seemed to know who you could be walking with from one day to the next. Some days you could start walking with somebody you have never met before and by the end of the day you are like the best of friends.

Most of the Camino involved walking in some aspect of nature. It could be through a woods, on a road through fields, near a river or by the sea. I found many of these experiences truly breath-taking. Some mornings I would be on the way well before the sun rises and I had the fortunate experience of seeing some amazing sun rises. I felt a deep connection on my travels with nature.  I feel maybe its something that I had lost before I did the Camino however I feel that it is something that I have found again.

Much of the Camino involved walking anything from 18km to 40 km per day. On my first week, this daily journey was more of a race to me rather than a walk. However as I gradually walked the Camino, I found that I tended to walk slower and slower and started to become more present to my surroundings and to myself. I really found it to be amazing that the more present I became, the more I truly started to see myself, other people and my surroundings.

A lot of the journey involved walking with other people. People from all different walks of life and different cultures. People from the ages of 5 to 80. I found this experience of walking with people to be truly the best part of the journey. I can safely say that I have never laughed so much. There was a great sense of freedom walking with these people, many who became my friends. What is great about the Camino is that everybody is the same. We all have a rucksack, a couple of pairs of T-shirts, pair of boots and a few other bits and pieces. I don’t think I was ever asked once what I do for a living. I don’t think anybody really cared. Everybody was there on a journey of some sort and it was great to be sharing it with so many alive and fun people. I also found that the Camino allowed an opportunity to have more authentic, deeper connections with people, connections which  may never have happened out there in the “real” world.

A big part of the Camino was me listening to myself. Listening to my inner inspiration, my inner guidance. Listening to what felt right for me. Many times I was walking with a group of people who I developed good friendships with. Sometimes I would get this inner voice inside saying to leave the group or to go ahead. At times it was hard to leave the group and I didn’t know what the outcome would be as a result of my action. The fact it felt inspired, all I could do was trust it. When I trusted to take the action, everything always seemed to work out perfectly.

All I can say that this part of my travels, the whole 5 weeks, has been one of the most amazing experiences I have had in my life. I would totally recommend it to anybody who is looking for some time out of the “real” world and wants to experience something different. It is a great opportunity to connect with yourself, with the world and with people.

Namaste,

TW

Living On The Edge!!

Tags

authenticity, happiness, inspiration, Life, philosophy, psychology, spirituality, Truth

They say that if you’re not living on the edge, you are taking up too much space.

A couple of weeks ago I was told that I was no longer needed in my job. I am currently in job transition since then and I really don’t know what is going to happen next in my life. When I was told that there was no more need for my services, I responded with excitement and enthusiasm (internally), because honestly my heart wasn’t really in that job. I could not see myself there in the long-term. The job was not making a statement of who I am.

Within two days of being told that there was no more work for me, I booked a 5 – 6 week trip to Spain to do the Camino de Santiago.  For the last couple of years, I have wanted to do this 800km pilgrimage walk however I have never been able to “fit it in” because of various life commitments. At the moment I am free and single and feel there is no better time to do it…..

A quote which really inspired me to do it was;

“One day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to do the things you’ve always wanted. Do it now!”  ~ Paolo Coelho

It’s so true!!

A lot of us, myself included feel that we are going to live forever and we can have the tendency to go to the place of procrastinating about making a decision of really going for what we want in life. For me this decision is saying a loud YES to what I want to do at this phase in my life and not what I should do.

A part of me is a little nervous about this journey however a big part of me is really excited. I have been reading and talking to people about this walk and it seems it is very much an inner and an outer journey.

I am aware I don’t have any control over the people I meet and the situations that I encounter on this journey, however I do have control over the intentions and beliefs that I would like to have.  As part of my preparation for going on this walk, I have come up with some intentions for it;

~ To connect more to my higher purpose and a deeper part of myself.

~ To have more clarity on what inspires me and to have the capacity to live my passion.

~ To love and trust myself.

~ To trust my intuitive sense.

~ To be present to where I am.

~ To have fun and enjoy myself.

~ To be open to what ever happens and let go of any expectations.

~ To connect with people in a real and authentic way.

~ To enjoy the journey not just the destination.

~ I would also like to walk in silence for about an hour or more every day.

 

At the moment I don’t know what the future beholds after this journey to Spain however a part of me is trusting that I will be shown the way.

My Camino walk begins at the start of August and I hope to share some of my journey, my experiences and insights on my blog here……

I leave in a weeks time….Camino de Santiago here I come !:)

Namaste

~ TW